Well time keeps marching on and March has almost come to an end. Time goes by quickly, days turn into nights and nights turn into weeks, you get the picture. It is like sand sifting through our hands. And whole time marches on, our lives speed by, our actions follow us and our words, so many words effect us. The meaning behind what we say and do has a ripple effect. The intensity of our words either spoken, or typed, or videoed, all have an impact on our lives. Not just the words we say to each other but ourselves. The self talk, the negative conotations, the words of affirmation, the words of hate and love, of joy and sorrow. These words, their meaning, their intent follow us in the trail of life.
I know for myself, there are times that the self doubt, the negative self talk, the change in my self worth–all these words spoken at me or to myself. That is not something to be proud of. The thoughts and words of someone else, or more than one someone, have made me question who I am, my meaning and worth. No one’s words should have that power over me or you. The words I have spoken to myself, and I know you have done the same, have not always come from a place of love but of comparison, of focusing on what we perceive as a failure in someone’s eyes or society’s eyes. We seem to get hung up. We tend to let the negative and hateful words permeate our lives. Now I am not saying we are in an open field with free love for all, but we spend so much time on the negative we miss out on the positive. We all have had an ex who has been unkind during a break up, says derogatory things about someone they supposedly love to look like they are a victim in the relationship ending. We each have said a comment or snide remark to those we love and to those we don’t truly know. Sometimes some people talk to glhear themselves talk and sometimes we don’t actively listen but think of what we want to say. It is said that women can speak 20,000 words per day and men can average 7,000. Let that sink in. No wonder us women are labeled as chatty Cathy’s. Some of the words are greetings and good byes, some are silly and heart felt, some are comforting and cutting, some of these words can be of joy or sorrow. We as women don’t mean to talk so much, we are emotional beings and queens of communication. Men don’t mean to not say less words, they are choosey about what they want to convey and they communicate differently. What happens sometimes is if men withhold the words that need to bring comfort or express emotions, that cuts a woman deeply. On the other hand, if a woman wields her words as a weapon or nagging I daresay, that pushes that man further away. Talking and sharing words and conversations shouldn’t be so complicated, but it is at times. The words we say, the words we hold back, effect another person. Our words can effect someone more than we know.
What started this whole entry came from a devotional I was reading. It is about relationships and the impact they have. Not just romantic relationships but all of our relationships and how we communicate. It went in to talk about the word mutter. Not what some people call their mom. We mutter under our breaths the things we think but hold back with sharing with others. Usually they are a negative connotation. It went on to say what if we muttered positive words instead of negative. That we mutter praise and thanksgiving, positive words versus the negative things we cling to. I thought about this and it struck a chord. Muttering the negative thoughts is damaging to myself. It keeps me in a stage of bitterness and anger. How about you? Ever mutter something that just makes you mad and you keep stewing in it? Try muttering something positive and see how it makes you feel. We all can’t be merry sunshine all the time. We all hit a wall, we all get frustrated. But the words we say impact ourselves and those that are around us. We think it doesn’t matter what we say, sometimes people don’t care who the injure with their words, sometimes words are withheld as an emotional abuse tactic. Our words matter. They can matter as much as actions. Anyone can perform a task–go out to dinner, hug, have sex, clean the house. But if that action is done out of convenience, out of habit and there is no conversation, there is no words of affirmation or feeling, well those actions are just motions without emotions. Your words matter. If you say them, write them, sing them, mutter them, video yourself speaking, they are all words that matter and the impact of those words have long lasting effects.
So today when you want to mutter, “she is so weird”, “that cashier is so stupid” “she is fat”, the list goes on. If you mutter them for your ears only, you are hurting yourself with the negativity. If you say them for all to hear, well you may not live for another day. The words we say, the thoughts we have impact each other. Try an experiment today, for every time you want to say something negative, turn it around to something positive. A compliment to someone or yourself, praise the Lord, talk kindness into someone else. At the same token, let some of the negative words fall to the way side. The words you say about yourself, the words that were spoken to you that hurt you, the words you longed to hear from your partner and never heard, words from your childhood that may have not been spoken in love. Replace those words of hurt and replace the with forgiveness and peace. If someone won’t accept forgiveness, forgive them for you. Let go of the bitter words and focus on better words, better moments, be better and not bitter. Words are sharper than any two edged sword and can cut deeper. Be careful on how you weild that sword on yourself or others. Words upon words, each one has an impact. Be wise with that impact and leave someone better than when you found them. We all have words we live by, choose wisely and go and live your best life.
