I haven’t written in awhile. Life has been crazy for us all. Covid, civil unrest in our world, working and dealing with everyday life. How have you guys been? Surviving life or thriving? I feel like we are all surviving. I feel that we are a nation on edge and it is person against person. I have tried to be a person who sees the brighter side of things. I get overwhelmed, believe me, I get discouraged but I try to look at the blessings in life. I will admit, during this year, I have been overwhelmed, shocked, hurt and just flabbergasted with people. People in my circle of friends and people who are close and people that are just in my life for a season, people of our world.
I was brought up to respect others, I was taught to listen to others and hear their opinion. I remember hearing my parents discuss politics, religion, sports, farming and many topics with their family and friends. They may have heated discussions but they still were family and friends. They may not have agreed, but they had each other’s backs. In high school, there were so many different groups, races, financial differences and just plain different. There were mean girls, there were flirty boys. It wasn’t all roses and rainbows, it was life as a teenager. But I remember everyone getting along for common causes, I don’t remember seeing someone for their color or different opinion. Yes there were cliques, what high school doesn’t have that. Funny now as an adult, those cliques disappeared and adulthood has made it to the scene. People that weren’t close friends in school have reconnected in adulthood be it in person or via social media.
The funny thing now as a grown woman, I see cliques forming again. Political groups, fighting for and against causes and well people not appreciating or respecting someone else’s view. I was taught that if you know you are right in what you believe or your actions, then you stand up for yourself. You don’t bully someone to believe what you believe or shame them for what they believe. You debate respectfully, you learn an opinion and then you move forward. Where did this common sense go to? I have been unfriended on social media by family, by people I work with all because I have a different opinion. It makes me think of a kid taking their marbles and going home because they didn’t get their way. You don’t want to read my posts, my thoughts, scroll by. I may not agree with yours but I still care about you as a human being. That is the problem, we have forgotten how to be human. We have let the unrest in our world take away our peace and humanity. I shrug off their decision to disassociate, but it can still bother me. I think we are all that way. I look at the division in our world, divided by gender and race, thoughts and political affiliations. I have to get tickled, the ones that unfriend or in person, they secretly stalk your posts, never comment just lurking in the shadows to become offended instead of maybe saying “hey I read your post and I disagree” or just be willing to talk. No, these are the people who seem to lurk for missteps in life, waiting for you to cross a line, their line. Do you know there are people out there that screenshot people and their comments that they consider racists and they in turn try to get people fired from their jobs. They post their private information to the world to cause turmoil and hate against a person. These people do this under the guise of rooting out racism yet they practice the same hate. Did you know because you may have an opinion that differs from someone else, they will distant themselves from you because they don’t agree with your opinion? Did you know you can have a different opinion yet you can still be cordial or dare I say friends? Yes, it is a strange and grown up attitude.
For me, I have been guilty of being a people pleaser. I like everyone to be happy and want to make life pleasant. I have thought about what other’s think and that is a huge mistake on my part. I am truly me, take it or leave it. I am finding that some people leave it. And wow, how sad for them. It is sad for me as well. It is sad to see how our world is divided and how it has divided us. Which then leads me to the racial riots and division, the differing opinions about Covid and mask’s no mask’s. Dare I say, I had opinions and exhaustion of it all.
We are caught in a riptide of information and emotions. One day wear masks, the next day don’t wear masks. The virus lives on surfaces, no it doesn’t. Cases go up but deaths not reported. Patients worried about their care, I worry about my mom, I worry if I get it who will take care of me, financial worries and it all piles up. I post just thoughts about it and some silly and some thought provoking. Well that was enough to make some unfriend me. I have my thoughts about all of this virus and I don’t think it is straight forward in it origin, mutation, the political aspect, just alot more than meets the eye. I have had opinions about the racial unrest and this has ultimately had people unfriend me.
Racism exists, not only against blacks but whites. Unfair treatment exists across the board. My opinion that riot and looting doesn’t equal protesting for equality. Breaking into apple stores and stealing UGGs doesn’t make the cause stronger. Yelling racial slurs and profane language doesn’t make the cause stronger. Defunding the police doesn’t further a cause but makes us fall deeper into a world of despair. The case with George Floyd was atrocious, the shooting of Brianna, all shocking and unbelievable. There are bad cops and there are bad people. But there are good people and good cops. Some people don’t feel this sentiment. I have never been profiled by the color of my skin, but I have by my gender. I have been a minority as a woman. I haven’t had white privilege. I come from a middle class family raising a middle class family. I have been working since I was 15. I didn’t get a full ride to college due to scholarships or advantages of money. I don’t have two homes, I can barely afford one. I honestly know that when we get to heaven, there is no color, no segregation, no class system. We each are sinners saved by grace. He doesn’t save based on your bank account or black AmEx card or that you gave to an organization. Those that are standing up for black lives matter, there are some that truly have a cause at heart. There are some who delight in the unrest and adding to the volatile situations in our lives. Anarchists and antifa. Then in my muddled mind I think about that each one of these people have a mom and dad, they are someone’s family. Then I think what was their life like? Why are the so angry? Why is our world so angry? Not enough love, not enough tolerance or patience or is it just pure evil in our world? Was it because you were never told no growing up? Was it because you were always told no and now you want to control a situation? When did we become arm chair quarterbacks to everyone’s life? I have opinions, they may not be yours, they may not be correct to some but they are mine. The same as yours.
What are your opinions about monuments? I want to hear what people think. I don’t know how removing a monument rewrites history. And sometimes what history do people remember? Demolishing the statue of Christopher Columbus, Lincoln, Mount Rushmore, how does this change things? There have been evil, controlling, manipulative people throughout history, so do we rewrite the history books? Do we blot out what has occurred? Do we blot Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Harriet Tubman? If we are rewriting history then we rewrite it all. People that don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Evil exists in the heart of men and women, no matter their color. I will stand by this, we are so busy grouping people and labeling people that we are throwing the baby out with the bath water. We are basically saying all cops are bad, all Republicans are conservative and all Democrats are socialists. All white people are priveleged and all black people are in welfare. All women are man haters and all men are a womanizer. The list goes on. There are always “bad people” in every group, but there are also decent people with caring hearts. Saying all white people have priveleged and blacks don’t is completely unfair. There are people in power who abuse that power and there is always going to be someone to be there to take advantage and exploit a situation or person to their benefit. But guess what? Why can’t we talk about it? Why can’t we hear someone’s thoughts and agree to disagree? Why can’t we find common ground vs making a ravine in the ground we stand on? I have reached the ripe age of 52, and can’t believe what I see and hear. I see people younger and older than me and the same age as myself, all bantering about. I see hate in people’s hearts, I see a lack of tolerance and I see politically correctness seeping into every aspect of our lives. There is no way we as a society can make up for past sins or payback for what their ancestors indured. No more than we can pay back the indentured servants, the Indians, women. But we can change from here forward. This is my opinion and I am open to yours. I will still be your friend, your coworker, your relative because that is who I am.
I love how social media keeps us up to date on people’s lives and well being. I love how we all can be connected. I love the connections that we can make from the comfort of our homes. I get carried away with memes and thoughts and silly stories. I have been told that sometimes what I post is inappropriate, yet they still get viewed. I waste alot of time on social media, you waste alot of time too. In this world that is crazy, the comic relief is needed. But the hate and division needs to go. The judgement needs to be gone. Do you feel that way? I know I do. I am not a little timid girl who needs your approval. If I can be removed from your life, did I really matter to begin with? If I cross that line, does that equal banishment? From those who encouraged me to think things through, to stand up for myself are the same ones who lurk waiting to pounce on my sins? I am me. You are you. We each bring different things to the table. My dad and mom told me no matter where I live, no matter what I change my name to, what clothes I wear, what party I support (for you inquisitive people I am a registered independent) no matter what job I do, I am still me. I am still Stephanie, Can you say the same? Can you say that you are open to let another person’s thoughts or stand into your life and not agree but they can still be in your life? I am finding that there are alot of people who can’t. I have way too many thoughts and emotions. I am an empath that picks up on the mood of others, I have a pretty good gut reaction to situations. I work hard, I was raised to do my job to the best of my ability I won’t apologize for that I have been told my expectations of others are too high. Could it be theirs are too low? Could it be that people attack one’s weakness to make themselves feel justified? My job has helped me care for my family on my own for 18 years now. Not been an easy road with a special needs child and an ex who left and never looked back. A job that has helped me as a single mom juggle it all and for theat same job I give all I can everyday. Do people give back what I give, they don’t. Is it sad, it really is! I am inappropriate, I love a little bit of naughty humor, I love to laugh! I love when the people closest to me are happy and loved and succeed. I am caring and compassionate and passionate. I love a slow kiss, a swat on the butt, a cold beer and chips and salsa. I love Jesus and know He loves me despite how much I let Him down. If you are in my life, I care and love you. Not because of your color, what you can do for me financially or the color of your skin. I see you as a person. Can you say the same? We live in a world that is falling into one of the biggest cast systems we have seen in our lifetime. So while the world battles, why must we battle in what should be our safe zones? Our homes, our jobs, our hometowns? Do we always have to be right no matter the cost or can we find a way to come to a mutual understanding and respect?
Maybe that is the issue is that we have lost the ability to respect? We have lost the ability to respect ourselves and each other, for authority and for those that fought for us to have this freedom. Respect is missing from our lives, care and compassion has gone by the wayside. Honesty and care, respect and loyalty have become a minority in our world of chaos. Just my thoughts. They don’t have to be yours, you don’t have to agree. That is an amazing thing that we can all exists together but still respect each other and shocker still love each other. I am a good woman with a reasonable head on her shoulders and a wicked sense of humor. Unfriend me in reality it social media, well you are missing out on an amazing woman and most importantly a friend! So how about we start a new trend, you do you and I do me and that we find a way to navigate this world together knowing that we can have different opinions but still love and respect each other. Know that I am a person that will be in your life no matter your political stance, your skin color, your thoughts and opinions–that is what makes you who you are and that is important to me. So hear is to a fresh start for each of us!
