So time continues to move forward and I continue to think various thoughts and my mind goes down different paths. I have been thinking about sorrows. I know I have seemed to continue to be sad and I don’t mean to be. I still re live my dad’s passing and seeing grief and life through my mom, my sisters and my kids eyes and hearts. I see him when he passed, the aloneness that I felt at that time, the fear of having to see my mom’s face when she saw him, the emptiness and how alone I felt then and now. Grief is a funny thing. Sometimes it comes crashing down and I always want to go to deep in my thoughts and feelings while I navigate the waves of grief and well for life in general for me.
Then I have looked around and see the hurts in our world. The stories that go behind the facades of normalcy. The stories people don’t share. The story of a mother’s son who is addicted to meth and she had to have him forcibly removed from their home, yet worries if he is alive or dead as he is her son. For the women who have lost their babies and are bombarded with pregnant bellies everywhere. From the early losses to the full term losses, a part of them gone forever. For the woman who looks like her life is amazing but she is so lonely as her spouse has cheated on her and she has 2 small children and feels her life is crumbling while she smiles during the play dates. For the man whose wife cheated on him, feeling less than a man. The children that have buried their parents, the kids suffering abuse, the kids who just want to be loved. The adults in our world that want to be loved. There is so much sadness and sorrow in this world and some sorrows aren’t always seen. People are battling storms that others don’t know about and the tsunami of emotions and hurt can be overwhelming.
My parents always brought me up to treat others the way I wanted to be treated. Sometimes that can be hurtful in itself as some people don’t reciprocate and that is a boomerang sensation. That can add a bit of sorrow on top of a storm for some. I so wish that we were in a world where we stopped for a moment, that we looked outside our bubbles to see life through someone elses point of view. That we just stopped for a minute and really listened and looked after each other. That we gave someone a nod, a smile, a word of encouragement, a hug or just be there for someone.
We have so much sorrow and hurt in this world. From the headlines to the home fronts, from the heartbeat of the world to our own individual heartbeats. We spend our waking moments trying to survive this world and the burdens are many. Perhaps, we decide to stand by each other, that we look outwards more? That we look for the rays of sunshine that peek through the clouds of gray.
I know I am not the only one to have lost a parent. And prior to my dad, I lost both grandmothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and patients. I was there when one of my grandmother passed and there with my dad. I have held patients hands as they have found out their baby has died, talked to so many who have lost a spouse or parent. I see my dad’s face over and over again, praying I had the right words to bring him comfort as he passed on to heaven’s gates. And since he is gone, different memories have skated across my mind. We had moments where we butted heads and moments of pure insight. Moments of laughter and childhood memories, memories of him with my kids. There are moments where his life lessons ring back in my ears, there are times I have had a problem and thought I will call dad. There are many blessings during the storms, during the loss. This blog has helped me purge alot of my feelings and kept me from not bombarded family and friends, to chase away the moments that go too deep.
So the skies are cloudy and fall is trying to slowly appear. The sorrows of the world are going to be many, so perhaps we look for the rays of sunshine. That we be a ray of sunshine for those that our in our circle of influence. That we choose each day to embrace the sorrow and not live there. That we forgive those that have hurt us and forgive how we hurt ourselves with expectations and needs unfulfilled. That we grab each ray of sunshine, each sparking moment of joy, the moments that we so take for granted and opportunities for happiness. Sorrow is for a moment and joy should outweigh the sorrows of this life. May we each do our part to ease the sorrows of this daily life, that we uplift one another and perhaps look beyond what we see and truly look beyond the facade.
