Hey all! I haven’t written here as often. Taking some time to write some things on my heart that are for me. But this one thought, this one quick view of a woman last week has been weighing on my mind. I was coming out of work to meet a special and fabulous lunch date Anyways, I digress. This woman had climbed down from the bus and as the bus pulled away I saw her. She was walking with her cane and she was so bent over that her chest was perpendicular to the ground. She has bent over at the waist and was unable to stand up straight. She was dressed for going to see the doctor. Her pretty blouse and simple skirt. Tears came to my eyes as I watched her navigate the sidewalk. She took public transportation to get to the medical park, how hard those steps were to navigate and when she sat, how hard that was, uncomfortable I can imagine. She was walking the path on her own. As I became teary watching her for her physical ailment, so many thoughts ran through my mind.
I thought of how brave she was. That she wasn’t letting life’s challenges keep her from moving. That she had the heart of a lion as she navigates this world. That she is weighed down by a physical ailment, but she is still pushing forward despite her body having other ideas. I thought of her walking on that sidewalk alone and knowing in my heart that she is not walking alone. I wanted to stop and hug her. I wanted to hear her story. I wanted to carry her burden. The shape of her has lingered in the corners of my mind.
Then I thought about the weight of the world we sometimes carry. I thought about how we get so weighed down in life. The weight of the world that we carry, our past hurts, responsibilities, fears, expectations, sorrow and the list goes on and on. Our shoulders become tight with the muscle strain and weight of life. Our backs become sore and tired. Our mind, heart, and soul become weary. That woman had the outward sign of her physical ailment and I worried for her well being. BUT her soul could have been at peace. Her soul could have been as light as a feather as she had no other worries. I could only see that physical side. Sometimes we see people and physically they look well,but emotionally and spiritually they are scared and broken and hurt. Their souls are weary.
I don’t know why this lady hit my heart like she did. There was something that reminded me of my Granny, who I have been told I am alot alike at times. There was something about walking this journey solo like she was walking down the sidewalk. I thought then how she was probably like my Granny— I came up with a whole story about her– that she out lived her husband and in my mind they had a genuine love story. That she has two sons and they are doing their thing and visit on holidays. That she was on her way to the eye doctor for new glasses and was ready to get back home for an afternoon nap. How she talked sweetly to people who passed her by, wanting a connection. How the heart yearns for that connection. How that soul wants to be seen. And I will say this, my heart has been seen and my inner goddess is doing the happy dance with butterflies galore, but again I digress.
How about you? How about the weight you keep carrying around that weighs you down. And this isn’t body weight, this is world weary weight. Are you stooped over from the load you are carrying? Do you want someone to recognize the struggles you are going through, and need that extra huh, kind word, listening ear? Do you feel like your soul is being fed and that you are seen for who you are? Do you see others for what truly runs deep inside them or do you stop at the external picture and sight of a person? We all get weighed down and we all handle it on different ways. When I reach my limit, I cry. I mean ugly cry and I do mean ugly. I get quiet and introspective and I think. I have been trying to be more patient, more observant, more in the moment. We all do. But this thing called life creeps back in again. I don’t know about you guys but I am tired of the load, I want to be the carefree girl at times, I want so much more. How about you?
As I sit here in this moment, the breeze blowing through my hair and birds having their morning conversations, I see that woman and the load she shows outwardly and hope and pray that she is well and that someone looks after her. I sit here and know I am blessed. I know that life throws curve balls, sometimes words are said that can wound, moments don’t turn out how you want them to, and some things turn out better than ever imagined. That is when I know I am blessed. Count your blessings my friend as they can be as much as a handful of sand, but those grains of sands and blessings can slip right through your fingers if you aren’t careful.
