So another Thanksgiving day has arrived, and too quickly I might add. The leaves are tumbling down and the years are flying by. The memories flow as bright as the red and gold leaves shimmering in the sun. Memories of grandmom and granny, aunts and uncles, cousins and friends, my kids so little, my parents and sister. We gathered around several tables– you know the kids table and adult tables, buffet style to gathered around one table. Food galore and desserts a plenty. But beyond all the trimmings were the people that were the heart of the day. Each of you flipping back through the albums of your life.
This year has been one of the most challenging years for our family. My dad passed away 3 months ago, my daughter off to college and the landscape of our family is altered once again. We all have had times like these. I am not special or different or immune from life’s challenges. We all have lost someone we love and yet life goes on. And what a blessing that life still happens. In my life, there have been many ups and downs, heartaches and joy. I am no different than each of you, we are all in this club. We each face challenges and heartaches and painful moments we think we may never recover from. But we do recover. We may have seen and unseen scars, tears that are shared and some that are shed in private. Fear, insecurity, worry, the known and unknown challenges we face. The list goes on. We get tossed around like the leaves on a tree. Tumbling from the secure branch of life, blowing across the landscape of life and moments can stack up like that pile of leaves. BUT the turning point is finding the blessing in the storms of life.
It has been said that it is better to have loved than never have to loved at all. That is so true. When you love deeply it can hurt just as deep. When I think of my life up to this point, I am so very blessed to have loved and been loved. There have been major hurts and hurdles but so much laughter and love. I hear stories of my parent’s childhood and life, think of my own growing up years, to my life as an adult and my kids. It is not always easy to say there are blessings through the storms, but sometimes in the hurricanes of life we don’t see the blessings. Sometimes we don’t see what we should be thankful for or the hidden blessing until years later. Does this resonate with you? It does to me.
My Uncle had a stroke after he was born and was challenged mentally his whole life. My life was blessed because of him. He couldn’t articulate verbally his thoughts, but his face lit up like a Christmas tree when he saw you, shared his change purse for you to count his money, his cap gun and wrestling. His face screwed up in disgust for a potassium pill and his fear of the grave yard. His life opened my heart and mind to seeing and feeling the struggle of others. The struggle of my marriage and divorce, addiction and abuse, abandonment and feelings of being inadequate. The blessing of safety and freedom emerged (still with insecurity and some regrets and feelings of being unlovable yet still blessed). The diagnosis of autism for my son and the challenges we have faced, yet the biggest blessing to watch him grow and excel and to see the world through his eyes. To see my daughter grow up without a dad and see her lose the main man in her life, her grandfather. To see her experience the first loss in her life while she started the next chapter of her life with bravery and grace and the intelligence to soar. To be blessed with a family that has loved me through all my ups and downs and yes there is a blessing in my dad’s passing. This has been the biggest blessing and hurt of my life. I have lost my grandmothers (my grandfathers passed long ago and I don’t remember them and my pop pop moved away when I was young) aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, but the passing of a parent is a whole different world. It has made me think alot. When my parents lost their parents– the strength and grace they showed. They lost a piece of their heart but still helped heal ours. My dad’s passing was one of the hardest things I have gone through in life. Feeling helpless to not stop it, to not be able to make him more comfortable, to take back harsh words and hurt feelings, to just make it stop. BUT the blessing was I was there. The blessing is to be able to relive the snippets of so many moments in life, the blessing of my life and the lessons that both he and my mom imparted, the blessing of being able to tell him I loved him and hold his hand while his hand sought the hand of his mom and dad and Jesus on the shores of heaven.
So through the hurt and tears, through the memories and laughter there are blessings! I know not everyone has had a life of love and security, each has had a journey that has shaped them today and everyone’s journey is their own. Even though the road of life hurts, the mountains steep and the valleys low, there is a blessing to be had at every turn.
We each have had our struggles and challenges, loves and loss, birth and death. But through each chapter we have been blessed more than we deserve. We have learned and grown, we have experienced the most exquisite joys life has to offer— the safety of a home and family, first loves and first kisses, the first time we held our child, the first time we really see life through mature eyes. From the simple moments of life to the most complex of betrayal, hurt and loss, yet they each have been lessons and blessings.
So as we celebrate another Thanksgiving may we each reflect on the blessings in our lives. That we gather to make new memories while we revel in memories of our pasts. Even the blessing of the empty chair, because that chair represents a life that we were blessed to be a part of and loved that person very much. Their physical presence is no longer there, but the love, lessons, legacy and blessings they left behind will last your lifetime. So may each of you enjoy the blessing of this Thanksgiving day but most importantly, take a minute to count our blessings not just today but everyday. Let the people in your life know what they mean to you, life is too short to miss out on the blessings in life and being with those you love. Time goes by quickly and can change like the leaves of autumn, don’t let life pass by without counting and sharing the blessings we have been given. May this day of thanksgiving last longer than today for each of you. And may your hearts be stretched full of love—as stretched as your pants after your feast.