There is so many things to be thankful for. We spend alot of time wishing for more, wanting more and then over look the blessings.
I think I am feeling over emotional today. I have found myself sick again. I had horrible bout of pneumonia in February. These past week I started having tons of muscle aches and a fever. My family doctor said possible pneumonia again even though I have no cough. Fast forward 3 days still running a fever and I have strep throat. Told my doctor I thought strep but no she didn’t think so and just call back on Monday. Thank goodness for the Urgent Care and a quirky sense of humor doctor. Told him it felt like I was swallowing razor blades and he said ‘well that is going to hurt to poop oit those razor blades’. He examined me, looked at my throat with a ‘Oh God that is bad and now I have to figure out what the hell to do with you’.A man with a sense of humorm and compassion and listens to a patient.I surely wish Sally Struthers had sent my MD by mail by now as sometimes I know a thing or two and could have saved the extra doctor’s visit.
Here I am, a woman of 51, mom of 2, a nurse and I am a big whiney baby when I am sick. And yes my mom taking care of me still is so wanted and thankful for her. She helped me change my sheets, took my son to work, her and my sister played taxi for me to go back to the doctor. The care and concern, calls and texts from the most important people in my life means so much to me.
I feel like a total woose when I am sick. Then I see my mom through different eyes. She was still a mom and wife when she was sick. I appreciate how she was always there no matter what. She cared for us, better than any nurse I know. Sleepless nights, changing sheets, comforting from all angles. Then she would get sick, she wouldn’t be sick for long. But she still carried on and pushed through. So as I sit in pools of sweat and my inner goddess has tucked her tail and run away as I look like hammered hell, I have started laundry and made some dinner and ready to collapse on a fainting couch now (dramatic southern twist).
You realize when you are a kid, your only job is to feel better because your mom or dad love you and worry and take care of you. As an adult you get sick, your mom still worries, you worry. As an adult you miss time from work, your household chores pile up and kids of your own to worry about. And you worry about your mom.
There are so many things to be thankful for, and not just when we are sick. I am thankful for medicine and doctors that listen. I am thankful for paid time off. Sometimes major events in life, including sickness, makes you more retrospective about life. And sonetimes running a fever for five days makes you feel more emotional. I have felt this overwhelming, heart full kind of emotions. I know you can tell I am an emotional person. I have always been. I feel deeply and with all I have. I think with the recent passing of my dad has made me look at life. We all do when we loose someone so close to us.
I felt like that sick little girl talking with my mom. I felt like an old sick woman folding clothes with a fever. I felt so overwhelming grateful to the people in my life that my heart beats for. I say too much at times and maybe that negates the true feelings. I hope it doesn’t. When you are sick, things are magnified, but maybe we are vulnerable even more. When we let walls down, let people know how we feel, let someone know they matter, let someone know how thankful you are for them. Yes it is more magnified when you are sick, but really isn’t that how we should be when we are well. I try everyday to let those who are close to me what they mean. Text, call, in person from a simple hey, are you ok, thank you, I love you. When we don’t let others know what they mean and what a blessing they are, well that is sad on both ends and time is missed out on.
There is never a good time to be sick and I know there are those facing battles bigger than strep throat. Everyone’s storm is different in intensity and different at times. I think our bodies are fearlessly and wonderfully made, but they can hit walls to. We get sick because we gets chinks in the armor of our immunity, we think we are invincible. But sometimes we hit that wall and become that sick girl who wants to be held. For those of you who didn’t have that TLC growing up, for whatever the reason, I am truly sorry. Those people in your life messed up and that isn’t your fault. Everyone deserves extra care and compassion every day and when you are sick just a little extra. Don’t let those past experiences shape you now.
Not every sickness is visible, not every sickness is the same. How we love on each other is different. Every person is different. Some just want to be left alone in the misery of sickness for whatever reason. I think this is hard on that person and those that care for them. Then there are some that have a hangnail, and they need FLMA. And some just need a hug from their mom, to hear the voice from the person their heart beats for–even without that fever induced rapid heart rate. Being sick sucks but having family and friends is such a blessing.
Maybe we need to be more thankful everyday, more vulnerable everyday Love on each other not just during the storms of life but everyday. We let the walls down, be vulnerable to those we trust, to let those in our lives now what our hearts feel and how they bless us. Our emotional health is connected to our physical health and both are so important. My heart has felt so full. If I share with you how full my heart is, I promise they are more than just words, more than whimsical feelings, they are some of the most truest, sincere words you will hear.
So another day to heal and celebrate 8 hours without a fever– yes I wrote this without the influence of a fever. Probably would have been colorful with a temperature. Make the most of everyday, tell those closest to you how much they mean to you, that they bless you and try to be that same blessing to them. Life is short and fragile, spectacular and daunting. So let’s be thankful, so very thankful for this life and take better care of ourselves and others. So wash those hands, don’t work with a fever, eat well, rest, get enough sleep, decrease stress, love yourself, love on others more, take care of yourself because there are people who depend on you. I now have to convince my inner goddess I won’t continue to look like hammered hell and we will get back on the diet bandwagon, car concert, flirty self soon. Take care of yourselves my friends and take care of those in your inner circle with the care, compassion and love you both deserve.
