Saturday morning….no other feeling than sleeping in past the alarm. Waking up to a leisurely cup of coffee versus the need for coffee to get through the day. Hearing the birds morning song and the sun streams through the windows. How about your day? I know you folks with young kids are ready to knock my block off as you have been up since the butt crack of dawn and already fixed breakfast, went through melt downs and fights over the remote and your day is anything but what I described. You too one day will reach the serene scene I painted. However, I do miss what you are going through right now. Those sleepy little toddlers climbing out of bed, morning snuggles and Saturdays at the park. Soak up every minute because time goes by so fast and they grow up too quickly.
Ok but back to my basking in the serenity of Saturday. I am sitting here this morning, my kids are still asleep…my kids are way older now and have their own time schedules. I sit here with a great cup of coffee and the world is a bit quieter before the hustle and bustle of Saturday errands start in. We so take for granted the peaceful moments. Moments to think and reflect, to actually just take a breath. We feel this innate need to be busy all the time, that it is a badge we wear while we scurry about. Don’t get me wrong, I stay busy and have for years. My busy has been work and raising kids, very daily tasks and some consider not very exciting. As I watch the sun shine through my open door, I think of people in other places going about their day and how their life must be. I have only known my life I guess. When someone asks about my life, well they probably are underwhelmed lol. I have worked and worked and worked. I have provided for my family and raised two amazing human beings. I have got to help participate in the care of my patients. I have had the safety of family and friends when my world felt unsafe. So no, I have never been on an airplane, never had exotic vacations or exciting hobbies, I have lead a life in the slow lane. Some may find that boring and well aren’t you a dark cloud in my sunshine.
We all as human beings want more, to be more, to live life and let everyone know the life we live. Funny that I said life in the slow lane. After my recent blog about driving in a city bigger than where I live, life in the slow lane suits me fine. Don’t get me wrong, I love to take a curve at full speed, go a little fast to the beat of the music, glide my car around the twists and turns of a winding road, but I like to do that at my pace. I have friends and some friends that I have dated , who feel the need to tell me how sheltered I am, that I have missed out on traveling the world and stayed stuck in my same town. Well yes, wonderlust grabs ahold of us all and to travel would be amazing at times and there is always the bucket list locations we all want to go. I have some of those too. BUT, we all always come back to a home somewhere. I guess that I have liked home more than I have anywhere else. The sanctuary and shelter of where you feel peace. When I was younger I just knew I would be rich when I was older. Well I am rich in family, in my profession, in my kids, just not so much financially or as the world sees rich. I have always felt a little less when people ask what all I have done in life as I have not traveled or been overly wild(for the record I have been wild enough) or just haven’t done the same things they have. But as I have matured, you know to the point I have serenity coffee on Saturday mornings and cocktails on Saturday evening, my life has been good. You’all don’t know my whole story, but there have been storms I have faced and some of my own doing. I have been blessed to work as a nurse for almost 33 years and that career has provided for me and my kids. My kids are my biggest and best blessings. Now don’t get me wrong, they also drive me nuts at times, but they are my loves. So my passport may be empty but my heart is full. How about you? What do you reflect on, what are your greatest joys and accomplishments and what are your the most sad about? We all have those lists, those dreams and disappointments. Sometimes we just like to push those under a rug or shove in a closet and not acknowledge them because they hurt us. Sometimes we don’t verbalize we are happy because what makes us happy other people think is mundane. So do we let those people steal our sunshine or do we shine brighter because we are who we are?
I dated a man who was ex military, he would share where his tours were, the locals, the stories of leave and just where all he had been. It was amazing to hear stories of other countries and I am thankful for how he served our country. He had been on several cruises and vacations and just a different life. I on the other hand have just been north and south of the Mason Dixon line (stop being envious now)! I have never been on a cruise, flown in an airplane, been out of the country– God bless my country bumpkin heart. After awhile I really felt like a bumpkin. Then this little red headed inner goddess got riled up (my inner goddess changes hair colors depending on her emotions just so you know) and it wasn’t because I was jealous or envious of his travels, but he was trying to diminish me for my lack of world travel while my whole world was right here. And I know the whole difference between men and women, men the conquerorers and women the home and hearth. Men have a different heart language and all the other things that we all compartmentalize about our genders. I love to hear of people’s lives and travels, I will ask question upon question when I want to know something. I want to see the world through those experiences of others, I just don’t like to be made to feel less for less mileage on the passport of life. Does that make sense? The sun shines in every corner of this world. It is streaming through my door right now, it streamed over him in his travels. It lights our days, it blinds us with it’s brightness, it warms our skin, it refreshes our souls. Just like all the bright moments in our lives. Some are more brilliant, some are just that peek of light at dawn, some are the mellow light at dusk. He and I just saw the sun in different ways and different places. We just have to be careful when we start to eclipse someone else’s sun. Just a thought. I wasn’t envious of his travels, the hours he put in and the work he did as he still was doing a job while traveling the world. I just didn’t like feeling my life was in the shadows. Does that make sense? Guess that was a thought that was rumbling around and just came tumbling out.
So on this spring day, may you find the sunshines of your life. Be it sitting on a patio with a second cup of coffee or the sun streaming through the windows that need a good cleaning. Or sitting in an outdoor cafe with a beverage and the sun dancing across your skin. Or the literal sunshines in your life, the people that brighten your days and dance in your mind and heart like the warming rays. Those are probably the best sunshines. I have been blessed with some of those best sunshines this past week. Some sunshines I just talked to for the first time, some that I have known all my life and some that have known me for all of theirs. The sunshine of Bora Bora or the Maldives may be out of my reach, but the sunshine of home and the people I love will be the brightest spots of my life. Take a moment today to look at the sunshines of your lives, the people and places that warm your heart. Ride with your windows down and your music turned up. If you have your life partner, spin them around on that kitchen floor in a dance, sit on your patio or porch with a good glass of wine and soak up the warmth they give. Hug your parent, love on that child. Be thankful for all the blessings the Son of man gave us and realize that these moments are brief and only so many trips we have around the sun. Make them count. As I get older, who I am becomes more clear and who I want in my life becomes even clearer. We all want some sunshine in our lives, maybe we each arrive to be those bright moments to someone. Enjoy your day, enjoy the sun and realize that you are truly blessed. I know I feel that deep in my heart today and hope you do too!!
