Here we are barreling head first into another month, a new season of summer and the pull of longer days, humidity, moments in time. How are your moments? Are you soaking up the sun or soaking up the time clock? This whole being an adult and working looses it’s luster sometimes. Have you ever just wanted to slip away for a time out? Have you ever wanted to just want to be that teenager you once were? You want your toes in the sand and the waves cleansing your mind with each wave, your smile as relaxed as a sunset and just as beautiful.There are days I want to do just that. Maybe not be the teenager I was back in the day, but a teenager back in my day with today’s knowledge. Now that would be an amazing teenager right there!!
The title of this makes me think about a certain movie where John and Olivia sang about summer lovin– I don’t own the rights to the song so have to make you think about it lol. Summer lovin happened so fast, summer lovin having a blast…..then it made me think about loving in today’s world. If you have your person be it married, dating or however you label yourself, good for you and you better be loving the hell out of that person. If you are swimming in the pond and wonder where all the good fish are, well just keep swimming it seems. This quote I added to this blog post was a realization. That we all love differently. It may not be the same or the expectation but we all love differently.
So how do you love? With touch, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service? Do you take love but don’t give it back or do you have so many walls raised from past hurts that you don’t know how to let the walls down? Do you know how you want to be loved? And no, not just the physical love but the love that feeds your mind and soul? Do your expectations of the love you want cloud your vision of the love being offered? Well, I don’t have all the answers but I would dare say most people want love in some form or fashion. I dated someone who could say the word love but couldn’t give love. I think there are people in the dating world that want to date but have the fear of dating. I would know that from some personal experience. I have been divorced for many years now and didn’t try dating until about five years ago. Wow had it changed from my 20’s but so had I. Instead of being set up on blind dates or hanging out on a group or someone knew the person you had your crush on, it is now a world of all these rules. Don’t text too much or too soon, have full body pics on your social media (clothes on, now I know what you were thinking) be flexible, be intriguing, don’t be cold as ice, don’t be a hot momma (you know the whole cougar thing) don’t catch feelings, don’t bring up your past but discuss your past. Then the dance around intimacy and desires and ultimately what you are looking for.
Years ago when my daughter was younger she instructed me on how easy it was to find a boyfriend. She suggested that I go to Applebee’s (shows our ages) and find someone I liked and asked him if he liked kids, believed in God and would he be my boyfriend. In her mind it was that simple. Maybe it is and maybe one day I could be brave to do that. Here is a hint, it hasn’t happened this far. But why do we make life that hard that we can’t just be honest about what we want. It doesn’t have to be what everyone else wants or needs, but it may be what you need. That while we all love different way. We all have a past, we all have people that were a season with a reason, a past marriage or past relationships….and guess what they didn’t last or some of us wouldn’t try to date because of past hurts (and this isn’t counting the ones that want to date yet are married….that is a whole other issue). When did we become so complicated? When did we start seeking perfection while ignoring our own flaws? When did we become so jaded? Again, I don’t have all the answers but the ones that lie in my heart.
So how do you love? What does your heart crave? There isn’t a right answer. I think a good answer is don’t awaken the love in someone to keep them as a place holder while you look for something different or what you think may be better. Don’t toy with someone’s heart as you will make another wound that someone else will pay the price for. Don’t play games. You know there is all the terms out there that I had in another blog–ghosting, love bombing, now there is FODA, fear of dating again in the world of Covid. There are so many terms our terms have terms. There are fetishes, there is serial dating, serial dating site hook ups. The WYD texts, what you wearing? The bios that go from I have most of my hair and teeth to I love cuddles and snuggles (aka SEX). Why do we do that dance? Why do we look over the precious people for the flash in the pans? Why don’t we just say I like you, you turn my mind and senses on, do you like grown kids, love God, date me lol. It really should be that easy. No extravagant five course meals but a picnic in the back of your pick up truck, a stroll around the lake, a lunch date or better yet a breakfast date that leads to a lunch date lol. The excitement of that first kiss, that moment your breath stops and your heart flies. Their voice gives you chills and you hang on every word.The flirting oh my the flirting. Where did the flirting go? All of this can be as hot as a summer’s day and warms your heart longer than a sunset. How about those of you with your person…do you still flirt, kiss until your lips are swollen and you fall in love all over again? Well you should! And often…. And the whole thing about SEX…it is amazing so I have been told. Hook ups are that just hook ups and if that is your thing, well do you. I told someone that I wanted more than just that. I was told I wouldn’t get it. He loved differently. Love shouldn’t be just sex, that kind of hook up leaves you empty. He may be right,I may never get all I want. I want all that I mentioned and that intimacy that makes you blush just thinking about it. I want someone to know they matter and they have someone loyal and in their corner, damn I am describing a golden retriever again. You get the picture. It isn’t just about what you can get from another person but what you can give. There is giving a love, and sometimes some people aren’t receptive to the love you give and there is being vulnerable to receive that love. I have said it before, there were times I felt like Mrs. Roper chasing Stanley for the love and affection I needed. And sometimes I wanted to be Anastasia being chased by Christian (by the way that scenario hasn’t happened, but the Mrs Roper has). So we all love differently but it is what we do with that love when we give and receive. I may be a dirty, hopeless romantic, but don’t squash my thoughts because they don’t match yours.
Summer lovin…what are your thoughts? What kind of summer lovin do you want. The innocence of childhood, the running through a sprinkler and sun kissed skin. Windows rolled down and music playing while the wind runs through your hair and the music fills your soul. Summer lovin of a stolen kiss,a hidden desire, a simple walk in the park or staring at the stars. How about loving yourself. How about realizing how you want to be loved and how you want to love others. We all give love in different ways and our expectations of the love we want to receive can skew our outlook. So how about we know our boundaries, we are perfectly flawed, a past that has beat and bruised us, a future that can open up like a morning sunrise. Take that chance, look past the hurts, look past the fears. Take a step at a time and realize we all want to be loved no matter the season. Summer lovin in the prime of your lives, no matter the age, no matter the situation. Maybe open your heart to those around you. Glow for you, grow for you. Love comes in many forms, you just get to choose what love you want to give and receive. Take a chance on that summer lovin kind of feeling, dont be a slave to work and life but take that moment to see the light sparkle across the water, sun on your face and damn just kiss them! Summer lovin having a blast, summer lovin happens so fast. Smile and flirt and know how you love is you and never apologize for being you. We may not have an Applebee’s anymore but take that chance with someone before the summer days turn into the next chapter in life. Be well and be safe and be you my friends!
