January is almost to a close. Can you believe it? Time flies by yet at other times seems slow. Sometimes I feel that I just graduated high school and then I see myself in the mirror. Today was one of thise days when you have the wrinkled brow and you know that cock your head to the side like your sweet puppy. It has been a couple of days like that!
So this may be more details than you want. Sorry! This may be shocking or offensive. Sorry, well maybe just a little. You know I was saying how I feel like I just graduated high school but my outward self doesn’t look the same? So I have been stressing this week about my upcoming colonoscopy. Just saying that makes me feel old. I don’t know why, but this test is bothering me. I am all about taking care of oneself, going to the doctor. But seriously, what person thought this would be a great time. Oh, there will be another entry about this experience. I feel it rumbling to burst forth. So on to more…..
So I thought this past weekend I took a bubble bath and shaved and well needed to do maintenance. Well let’s just say that some of the carpet is matching the drapes! Gray hair, down THERE! WHAT THE.. And this is such a delicate balance. If you don’t maintain, you could be like a 70’s porn star. If you shave completely, well it looks like those really wrinkly dogs. Trim and well, you find gray hairs. Dang, maybe I am not really hairy, I just can’t see them all because they are turning GRAY! So that turns gray, then there are weird hairs that come up on your chin or a couple of other places. Well ok. Shocked but survived, things could be worse.
I stop this morning on my way to work to get a friendly weight watchers breakfast and a Diet Dr. Pepper. I give my name for the order-which by the way is feminine–the guy hands me my drink and then my bag and said have ‘A good day SIR’. Ok, I know I had a WTH did you just say look? Did I miss hairs on my chin and wear a sports bra? Did my curly hair look like Kenny G? Was this kid like 30 years younger than me and so used to gender neutrality that he didn’t recognize this woman with bag under her eyes, modest cleavage and playing Lizzo as her musical guide to work? That should have earned a few points! I literally cocked my head to the side and clutched my pearls. This poor young man was trying to dig out like a dog digging for a bone. He apologized like 5 times and as I pulled off, I heard him say ‘dude did you hear what I just said to her’ (points for him as he used the correct pronoun).
So I am driving to work, turned the music down as I became an old man with road rage and had to concentrate on getting to work. Sometimes when you aren’t feeling so good about yourself, well it seems that there is something to make you feel a bit worse lol. Gray hair, a colonoscopy and got called ‘sir’. Then I started laughing hysterically. That poor kid was mortified! I can shave hair and color others and help forget the gray hair! Colonoscopy is a whole other story. No matter how you twist or turn it, I am going to be twisted and turned!
It is a privelege to grow older, get the gray hairs, have the aches and pains. Not everyone is granted these everyday occurences. I have to remind myself of that. Someone going through chemo wish they had gray hairs. Someone would wish anyone would speak to them and recognize them. Some people want the issues we complain about versus the storm they are facing. Now, I will guarantee, no one is ecstatic over the thought of a colonoscopy. Yes it will save lives and diagnose issues. But my naked behind with splatters of gray hair and ample butt cheeks will be under the influence of IV medications and a literal pain in the butt going on. Again, couldn’t there be a different way to do this?
All of this made me laugh and well feel old. But it also made me think how we all look at ourselves. Do we take everything seriously or can we laugh at the absurdity of life? Do we run out and buy hair dye for ‘down there” or do we let ourselves be ourselves? Do we avoid the uncomfortable topics or just jump in head first? Do we deny we are getting older or do we embrace it? Or do we just shut down? Well, if we are blessed with another day on this earth, we pull ourselves up by the boot straps and laugh at ourselves! And guess what? That is ok! It is ok to be far from perfect. It is ok to age. I wish I had that young body back, but the knowledge I have gleaned is so much more than my outward shell. It is ok to age. We are all vain. We don’t want to grow old, aging isn’t for whimps. However it truly is a blessing. So despite gray hairs, an invasive butt procedure and being called a man, it could be worse. It always can. So take a minute and chuckle, take a minute to look beyond the image in the mirror and more at the inner image. The person you are beyond the gray hairs. So tomorrow, laugh a little, or a lot. Be thankful for another day. I know I am going to try. And don’t worry, I will have colonoscopy updates and well a few more hair raising comments!!