So another series of thoughts. My dad has been going through some health concerns, and I am not going to go over details at this time. But during these last couple of months, well they have been some of the most challenging in his life. During this time, I have seen his steady determination despite the unknown and push through some hard battles. I have seen the love that my parents have always had for each other and I have seen the VA hospital through a different prespective.
My dad has always been a provider and a protector. He has worked hard his whole life. He has never met a stranger and if he did, well by the end of the meeting they would know each other’s family tree and favorite sport. To see my parents make it through this world and still be married is a blessing that not everyone has been able to witness. I have seen them carry each other through sickness and health, through the good and bad times, through loss of their parents and family, to the joys and celebrations and heartaches for their children. As I watch my parents from a distance, you see the love and compassion shine through. They held on through the first stages of love and newness, the daily struggles of raising a family, to retirement and the two of them alone again. Through the cute and too thin stage, to the changes of pregnancy and life, to the mature stage with laugh lines and wisdom highlights. Beyond infatuation and a physical love to a mature and appreciative and deeper stage of love. Side note— We all get hung up on the physicality of each other, but my friends that changes like the sand through the hourglass. It starts as an hourglass and can be more like a sand dune over time. Shapes changing as the ebb and flow of the tide of life happens. No matter the shape of this outside vessel, the essence of who someone is what matters and what the heart loves. I see my mom tend to my dad just as I have seen my dad tend to my mom over the years. They get in their own bubble, fiercely protective of the other, always there when needed and never too far from the other.
During this journey there has been another relationship that we don’t think about until we really look. The men and women who serve in our VA hospitals and then men and women there seeking care. From the doctors and nurses, aids and custodians, volunteers and security. Each one in a relationship with the men and women that have given so much for this country. Just like my mom, there to care for physically and emotionally for the people in their charge. Seeing these servicemen as they were in their youth. The bravery and love they have for this country– no matter what shape she has been in. Faithful in their service and loyal to their branch. In sickness and in health, for good or bad, in peace times and in times of war (and yes that can be a marriage as well). The staff, not treating our beloved servicemen as a number but a person. The staff working long hours, heavy patient loads. Patients who have experienced things we can’t comprehend, yet they live with their history everyday.
The servicemen seeking care for many reasons, all different physical and emotional needs. A person can become overwhelmed walking those halls. Thinking of the stories that are behind those closed doors. The men and women there that are all alone and want to have someone they know and love come through that door. The stories and lives our servicemen have lived, in peacetime and in war. Friends made and some still here and some have passed on to Beulah land. Every memory, every place, every laugh and sorrow, every action and reaction woven into them just like the marriage bonds. After awhile all of it becomes woven so tight, it is hard to see where one ends and another begins. Just like a couple who finishes the other’s thoughts, shared memories and an unbreakable bond.
There hasn’t been a time that my dad hasnt been thanked for his service. From the staff to the sweet volunteers. When you see this in action first hand, well it humbles you and makes you want to be able to do more and reach out to the people that love their country, that left that wife at home for boot camp and tours overseas, to serve and protect while their families ached to hold them in their arms. To the veterans harrassed for their service in Vietnam, the forgotten soldiers from the Korean war, the men my age who fought in Desert Storm and Desert Shield. To the men and women who are enlisted right now who have no idea where the wave of politics and unrest will take them. Each taken their oath of service as serious as a marital vow.
We should be more involved for our veterans. We should do more to reach out to our fellow man. My dad has had a volunteer visit almost everyday with a card or a treat or just a how are you and thank you for your service. The Charles George VA medical center in Asheville NC has come a long ways and works very hard for our veterans. We always hear the bad things in this world and focus on the negative. To shine a light where one is needed should occur more often. Every facility has challenges and no one is perfect, and medicine in today’s climate is a challenging one This facility works hard and tries hard for those they serve To have the ability to try again everyday, well that is strength. From the man bed ridden, to the one walking the halls with a walker, to the man wanting his prosthesis to be able to walk again, to the man who needs that safe place to talk about the atrocities of war. Well they each try again everyday and the power of the human spirit and will shines beyond any imperfections some people want to point out.
So how about we each find a way to show care and compassion not only for each other but for the men and women who fought and served for our freedom. I know I feel a need to be more involved.
Seeing the world through a different lens has been very eye opening so to speak. Seeing my parents over the years through many moments in their lives– well I saw that from my own perspective. And I now see it through yet another lens. The love, compassion, fear and strength but most of all the love. A hand on a knee, that quick “pop kiss”, the wedding bands that have lasted for almost 52 years. The hope for one more day, one more moment, one more laugh, the strength of commitment and the bond of love. What a blessing to witness, a feeling joy for them, a bit of sadness that I will never make a milestone of that magnitude, the awesomeness I feel to be their daughter.
The lens of seeing our servicemen in such multitude and varying degrees of need. The committment of the staff and respect for their fellow man. The joy of seeing a visitor, the longing for human interaction and touch, the outpouring of care and the knowledge to care for these very special people. Not a marriage oath but an oath to do no harm medically and an oath to perserve and protect this great nation through their service. No matter your political party, these men and women deserve respect and compassion from us all. They have a bond we may never understand, but they have that bond and connection and sacrificed for you and I to walk and talk and breathe freedom. They made an oath, my parents made an oath. Both parties have stood the test of time and trials a plenty. So while we are in the hustle and bustle of life, may we each, myself included, slow down and listen– really listen– to our parents and grandparents, our neighbors, to each other. To see the world through their eyes may readjust our vision and make our outlook a bit broader, kinder and more hopeful then what we can imagine.
To my parents, thank you is never enough. They have stood by me through alot of joy and a few trials. For both me and my sister and my kids. They always tried their hardest,always loved us even when they didn’t like the choices we made, always there to listen, always there for each of us. There is no way I could ever repay them or words to express what they mean. My dad is going to be ok– and that is because I said so (a long running joke in our family and my mom was queen of the answer to why — Because I said so). It is a hard battle for him and one we wish had not happened and a sense of helplessness when you can’t make it better or make it go away. My mom has a spirit of a warrior and the heart of the proverbs woman. My dad the strength of a lion and a knack of gab and determination. They are both loved more than they kniw.
To the men that I glimpsed so briefly, to the men in my family who served in our armed forces, and to those that are so very dear in my life– well thank you doesnt say enough. Thank you for your service and your sacrifice and the sacrifices of your families. You gave all you had to protect the freedom and liberties our country enjoys today. If any of us can begin to give back to you, well it is a small portion of everything that you have given to us. Thank you for loving us without knowing us, for your provision and protection of this great land. A prayer for peace and good health and respite from injuries, physical and mental, that were sustained on our behalf. So thank you never says enough to either parents or servicemen and women, but thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul and from many others whose paths you have crossed. May we each get to see life through a different lens and gain a new prespective. And may we be active in our communities and in our veterans lives and in the life of those we love and hold dearly. May God find favor on this land and continue to bless each of us and this country. As always, thank you for reading my thoughts and walking along this journey of life.
