Oh how I sometimes want to say….

Hey you’all! I know I haven’t blogged much. Life has been crazy. How have you been? Feeling frazzled and fatigued and well feeling deflated? Yep must be 2020. I have tried posting a thankful post everyday for this month on social media. I can tell you some days that was hard to do. Don’t get me wrong, we are blessed. I am blessed. But come on it has been a hard year and harder times to come. Emotionally, physically, financially, family and friends battling each other and illnesses, masks debated everyday, protests and elections. It has been draining. Atleast that is what I hear on a daily basis and have experienced as well. How about you? Have you lived in a bubble and not effected or are you just so stubborn you won’t admit that this has been alot? Well I am not that stubborn and will admit it has been alot.

First of all this is my platform and I don’t ever want to offend anyone but I have strong opinions and I have a heart that is just as strong. However, I do have a few thoughts to share. Have you ever just wanted to look at someone and just say ‘For the love of all humanity shut up’!! Just shut the h**l up! Just typing that feels good! I have never in my life seen the carrying on that is going on right now. Everyone has become experts in the field of medicine, politics and someone else’s life. Everyone has a thought about this virus. They have the answers sitting from their quarantined couch with their home delivery while some have braved the infected world everyday. The “Karen’s” of this world that have become part time mask police while wanting to defund the police. The most recent advice from our state is to wear a mask in your own home. Hello?? Is anyone listening or paying attention? I have seen these mask Karen’s on display. They have cute little designer masks that they touch fifty times a day after they have touched every surface or door handle. Touching their face touching their mask. Sure they wear gloves into the store and those same gloves touch cans that ten other people touched, pushing the same cart fifty people touched AND then they touch their face or their mask. YET they want to get in someone’s face who doesn’t have a mask on. Do as I say and not as I do. I wear a mask, I am a nurse. I am not stupid. My mask doesn’t make me resistant against the dark arts of Covid but it is my part to do WHEN I am out in public and I am at work. But come on, people are barely hanging on by threads emotionally and financially. When did we feel so entitled to be so rude to others? When did we forget how to lift each other up but tear each other down. Or maybe we had masks in place long before this mandate?

This next one is going to just plain piss some of you off. POLITICS….yes this dreaded word, this steaming pot of opinions, lengthy discourses, memes, and falling out of friends and families. Whomever you voted for was your choice and good for you for voting. We live in a democracy for now but some have forgotten this. I am at an age that I can honestly say I have never seen an election season like this. Again, just like I said previously…for the love of all that is holy SHUT UP! I will admit, I have been in a few debates on social media. I have been told I was naive, wrong, “special” and not in a good way, lunatic, wrong morally and religiously while someone decides to show me the error in my ways, did I say wrong? So let me tell you, this mindset is beyond someone being a Karen, this qualifies as a few other names. What happened to a genuine debate? What happened to listening to each other, debating your stance without belittling or name calling and still being friends or family once the debate was over? Oh that is right, I am special! How is it that it is okay to gather in protest without masks but a rally without masks is a super spreader? I honestly want to know the answer and yet no one can give an answer other than hate. How is it we can have different opinions and yet one seems the other person’s opinion wrong? Oh wait, I am naive in that regard, that I would dare think there is good in people or people say what they do, are you guys still that special. There are people that have said some of the most insane things and in my insanity I dared to comment. WTH? I am losing my mind. Then we throw in more…the MEDIA be it on your TV, your phone, network or social media. Information bombarding us from all angles. Real news, fake news, opinionated news, talk shows, podcasts and posts. No wonder we want to tell people to shut up. I was raised that you respect the office of the President no matter who is in office. You may not agree with that person or their party, but you respect the office. You respect the flag, respect your elders, yourself and each other. I let some of my self respect down by engaging in conversations. However, I stood by what I believe in and tried very hard not to degrade the other person. The redneck in me sometimes wanted to say a few choice words but what would that accomplish? A moment of a great comeback but once those words were said it typed they couldn’t be taken back. I have been frustrated by the superiority of some, the self righteous others and the disappointment in myself. We have blamed the divide on this current president, and he is still president not a political candidate as a popular social media has deemed, we have divided ourselves. We have divided ourselves by our thoughts and actions, our words and self serving attitudes. I don’t remember a time like I have seen during all of this. An election four years ago that has spent our hard earned money for collusion accusations to this one declaring no collusion or interference. Seems to be party driven. Politicians who represent their own interests and forget the interest of their people. Friends who want to boast their hate for one man yet we need to come together and unify because they won. There was moaning and crying four years ago, now there is a cry for unity as their hate has been justified. Hate is never justified and our world will never be the same. Our voting practices forever altered, our trust fractured and America will be owned by other countries for the rest of our lives. The media has been the biggest dividing factor then we have ever seen. And no I don’t watch Fox, which seems to be the best insult to be thrown lately. The media spins the news to their opinions, to their financers, to their base depending on which station you watch. Gone are the days of old. Now we have fact checkers, only against one side, a congresswoman who has stated all Trump syncophants should be listed and kept from holding board positions, other positions and be blocked from other jobs in life. Really? How is this ok? Where is the outrage, oh right because hate permeates only in certain opinions. We have news 24/7 , opinions galore, and yet here we are. We all are just trying to survive. I have had people post every failure of this president, I have read people post how God has implored them to point out the err of someone’s ways if they don’t vote democrat yet then debate that abortion is ok. Let me clarify, I was told it is the the right of a woman and law for abortion and the right to terminate a viable fetus if it keeps a mom ok to have future children you know for her health from some posted thoughts and that we are crossing church and state when we discuss abortion. Sometimes those discussions did nothing but frustrate. Since I have opened this topic let me expand quickly. I DO NOT judge anyone for any choice they make, it is their journey and whatever path they choose effects them for the rest of their lives. This isn’t a black and white subject but full of gray and full of opinions and passions. It effects both men and women but a man can’t dictate to me my opinion or my medical knowledge about this subject or how I respond. That was what got me in a frustration tailspin! When someone dismisses someone for their opinion, any opinion, that is beyond disrespectful. Don’t open that door unless you are inviting that thought in. I am opening the door and invite your thoughts. However, I still want to sometimes tell people to shut up! This whole politics scene has reminded me of childhood….you can’t tell me what to do, you aren’t the boss of me. I am going to tell on you, I am taking my marbles and go home. While we have all debated these two men and have spouted virtues and shortcomings, have covered mental deficiency and hated Twitter, we have lost a piece of who we are. We have let the people in the House and Senate profit from us without representation. We have lost our towns to violence. This virus and this election have cost us more than we can ever imagine. Our current President, yep he is still President, is not the most gifted orator, he has a Twitter happy thumb, he just says things. That is what got people upset. He rocked the boat, he didn’t play politics as usual. He looked at the interest of America and tried to remove us from a lap dog position. The previous administration slashed our military, our local jobs, gave Iran millons, didn’t investigate Benghazi but now wants to step back in the stoplight. The current President didn’t play politics and that upset the media, the career politicians. It has been said he divided our country yet no one can say how. Not one person has been able to tell me why Biden was a better candidate, the main answer has been he wasn’t Trump. Have you guys paid attention? If Biden had a way to “fight the virus” why wait until you are elected to save us people? Why wait? Everything he laid out, already being done. This is a virus, one political party won’t irradicate it and if it does, well I have a whole lot more questions about that! Tax increases, bigger government, socialistic qualities to our society, yet more failed changes in health care and the list goes on. It will be back to politics as usual and if all three legislative branches are one party, well you better hang on to your knickers! And yes, I would support that statement no matter which party is in the White House. You need a balance of power and you NEED politicians to get their head out and work for the people they represent not for the special interests that line their pocketbooks. Have you looked at the salaries of your representatives and their benefits? Yet they can’t decide on relief packages for struggling Americans without putting in millions for their pet projects. It has been said we will shine on the world stage now that Biden has won. Well do you want to shine for the world or make the world of your homeland shine? When did taking care of everyone and ignoring the people that fought for our country become more important? When did our homeless and uninsured and poverty be considered normal while we send millions to other countries or we borrow millions and make behind the scene deals become the normal? EVERY PERSON who has held the office of the President has been a flawed person, has had some type of scandal (except Jimmy Carter I think and well we know that wasn’t a great presidency) every side was scrutinized, had scandals, indiscretions, bad policy decisions and the list goes on. If you support a person you must be in a cult or drinking the Kool aid. The comparison of my person is better than yours, my thoughts are far more superior than yours and the name calling doesn’t end. For the love of God, shut up people!!! I don’t have all the answers, have agreed with some things others don’t, dare to have a different opinion, all still a freedom that exists. I may disagree with you but I will not be bullied anymore. How about you? We wear a mask to protect against a virus but it doesn’t seem to be able to cover the two faced people that exists.

A certain actress in recent movies throat punches people when they get in her space and I bet that has to be a very liberating feeling. Now don’t get riled up, I am not calling for violence nor would I perpetuate that action, but in my mind I bet it feels damn good. Some people just get in my last nerve and not the good nerves! We blame our division on our current administration but in my ever humble opinion we have done a damn good job on our own. I have discovered some people get off on being a butthole. For pushing the envelope and pushing people. They drop these bombs of superiority, insults or their ever correct opinion, but then don’t respond to rebuttals. They drop on you like bird poop but fly on to their next topic and person. Some have the old boy’s club attitudes of ‘you poor misguided female’ while they respond to the guys’ let’s get a beer bro you know name calling is all in good fun’. I don’t know, I think I have been so disheartened by people and the hate and hurt they spew. I think the other thing that goes beyond hurtful is when they throw out a person is racist when all else fails. Racial tensions have been higher than I ever remember in my lifetime. OJ Simpson trial was a high racial tension filled time but seems more now. So when you throw out the word you are inflammimg more than one person. Does anyone see how this adds to the divide? I have been told I can’t understand because I am white. Well I do understand. I understand I have never judged someone by the color of their skin, their gender or their religion. I may disagree with your politics and your opinion but has nothing to do with your color. I have been judged for being white, a female, a single mom, a fluffy single white woman, for my racy comebacks and my occasional curse words and for my difference in political beliefs and oh yes my religion. So I may not be black, I never owned slaves, never was a slave. I have been a slave to society, a slave to life to provide for my family. I have never judged someone’s color but lately my color and race are judged because I support the police, I support freedom and therefore I have white privelege. I don’t have white privelege. I have worked my behind off and nothing has been handed to me. My kids have grown up in a single household without public assistance, my son qualified for some help due to his autism not any other reason. My daughter has worked her behind off for scholarships to go to college. I don’t have white privelege no more than someone has black privelege or asian privelege. We have the privelege of freedom, free will and choices for our life. And I believe there are always choices. The people that have suffered police brutality should never should have gone through that. But if we are saying all police are bad then who do we call when we need help? I am sorry but a social worker doesn’t cut it. There is a place for them but there is a time and place for police. Spend money training the police, weed out the bad cops, make different code of contact. And it isn’t just police this applies to. How about teachers who are inappropriate with their students, who teach because they have tenure but tenure keeps them from teaching. To the medical personnel who should no longer practice yet they make the good physicians pay for their malpractice and bad care, for the media being anything but impartial. There are bad apples in every profession, people seeking to exert power over someone else. No one should be targeted for their skin color, no one should be profiled. I can’t change what historically happened but can help to prevent it from happening again. If we continue to rewrite history to make ourselves feel better now, we are doomed to repeat history again. People are being punished for the atrocities of the past yet want the transgressions of the present to be forgiven. Throwing out the word racist because someone may differ from an opinion is just as wrong as throwing out racial slurs. It still is coming from a place of hate. The sheets of the KKK were atrocious, the masks that people play behind today are as well.

At this point, I bet you want me to shut up! I kinda do as well. This has been on my mind for awhile and believe it or not, I wouldn’t tell you to shut up if you interacted with your opinion. I would listen to what you have to say, I would stand behind my thought process and I would not dismiss you but you should do the same. We are so busy being arm chair quarterbacks on games that we have no skin in. We carry on but can we carry each other? Can we carry each other’s burdens but only if you align with someone’s train of thought? Stand up for what you believe in or you will fall for anything. However don’t be so rigid in your stance that you forget to not lock your knees and faint from your stance. Don’t be so superior that you can’t admit when you are being a jerk. I can admit it. I am being a jerk by wanting to tell people to shut up! We have dealt with alot this year and we are stirring the pot even more and I for one am tired of the stench. You may not agree with my thoughts, but I am still a worthy person who would walk beside you if needed and help if I could. Isn’t that what we are called to do? We each are worthy in His eyes and ultimately that matters more than any politics, any debates or opinions. We are entering Thanksgiving and Christmas. Shouldn’t we enter His courts with praise no matter who is the president, no matter if it was your choice (even starting four years ago) giving praise for our blessings instead of complaints of what we lack? We are missing physical touch, physical interactions, emotional connections. Our fellow people are losing jobs, homes, mental health and the list goes on. So I will say bless your heart instead of shut up! I will respect the outcome of the election but I will still have an opinion, I will support anyone who needs it but I can’t tolerate disrespect. And for the keyboard warriors who dole out hate and discord, you are a special group who will probably end up with carpal tunnel and eye strain, bless your hearts and sticks and stones and all that, I still am worthy. I always welcome your feedback. I am a flawed person, I stumble and fall, disappoint and please, but I am me just as you are you! I really won’t say shut up, I may think it, I may mouth it behind my mask, but I truly will listen to you, maybe you can do the same. And by the way, the only mask I wear covers my mouth but will never mask my essence, my soul, me. What you see is what you get and maybe that is how it should be. Don’t hide behind a mask of ugliness and untruth, if hate and division, masked to be anyone but who you are meant to be. Rip the mask off, of course appropriately socially distanced!