Here we are at another holiday. One to celebrate the mom’s in our lives. This virus and the people in charge have taken alot away, but it can’t take away the love we have for one another and the love of a mom.
Now I know not everyone has a healthy relationship with their mom or dad. Not everyone grew up in a Leave It To Beaver type household. We all grew up differently. My mom did from me and my kids did so different from me. But we each were brought into this world by a mom. By someone who carried us for 9 months, we heard her heartbeat, her voice, she physically felt all of you moving inside her. Some moms made the decision to bring a baby into the world and give that baby away to a better life than what they could have. An act of love. Another mom brings that baby home to a single household with determination and willingness to be a good mom. An act of love. Another mom comes home with ber baby to the American dream of husband, home and happiness. An act of love. Mom’s are love. Mom’s carry us, nurture us, teach us, mold us, support us. Moms truly are our first friend. Moms sacrifice a part of themselves that goes to no one but their kids. They sacrifice a part of themselves by choice to see their kids flourish. Even if you didn’t have a good mom or your relationship is rocky, it still shaped the person that you are becoming. Moms have an influence like no other on our lives and one that we are blessed to have.
Moms have many roles in our lives. Care giver, cook, chauffeur, teacher, bank teller, domestic goddess, counseler and the list goes on. They were made with a heart that can hold so much love, and care, thoughtfulness and sheer determination. They have a love for their kids that is a different love from their spouse and the love for their own parents. It is a unique love only moms seem to possess.
There are women out there today that will be hurting. They were never able to hold their babies, or their babies have been called home. The hurt of infertility, the unsure process of adoption, foster moms, aunts who act like moms, moms to fur babies. Each woman has a desire laid on her heart to nurture. And there are some women that have never felt the urge to be a mom. These are women who have to be admired. In a world where we all follow the normal expectations, these women know that this isn’t a path for them. To know one’s self is true. It isn’ t a lack of love but honestly if you think about it it is an act of love. They know they don’t want to be a mom and they are loving themselves to go against the grain and not have kids because it is expected. For whatever their reason is, they are choosing a different path. The hurts are there as much as the joy for moms of all kinds, of women of all kinds. Single moms, married moms, moms who have kids and whose moms are still living, grandmoms who are in their kids lives and grandmoms who have been called home. So many emotions in one day, so many emotions for the women in our lives.
I was blessed with a good mom. She was a stay at home mom and ran our home as a well oiled machine. My parents were very traditional in their marriage but she was never subserviant. They both set a very high bar for themselves and us. My dad loved my mom and there was no doubt about it. There were always ups and downs for all of us and that is life. Mom has always been that safe harbor. The one to listen to us about hopes and fears, frustrations in jobs, in life. To be where I am now, I see my mom through so many different lenses. Younger years it was odd to think your mom was a woman, yew she is your mom. Then you grow up and know that she was a mom, a woman, a daughter, someone’s friend, sister. And now a grandmom. So I see myself as all the roles but a grandmother. I see how my mom cared for us and my kids and then her mother and mother in law. You see the many roles played out, you see joy and happiness, despair and loss, so many myriad of emotions. An act of love.
I try my best to be a good mom. I fail alot and the moments of success feel amazing. I worry alot and stress more than I should. I have had to work while bringing up my 2 kids. My mom stood in the gap while I worked. I am thankful for my job as it has provided for us. I had a job when my ex left, an employer who knew I was a single mom and helped support me. I over compensated for my kids during the trauma of abuse and divorce. I loved on them, and still do, every chance I get. I fail them alot, I get tired and even as old as they are there are times I want to run away. I am not as good of a mom as my mom, but I am pretty good. It has been the 3 of us for many years and will be for years to come. My hope is that my kids will always know how much they mean to me, that they are loved beyond measure and that I tried my best. I think what each of us wants our kids to know. I know through all the ups and downs, through learning how to drive and driving my mom crazy, for always being late for curfew, through the disappointment I felt during my divorce, to having a home to come back to with 2 kids in tow, to not always seeing eye to eye, but always heart to heart….I know my mom is like no other. I know that I was blessed with a good mom and that my kids have been blessed with a great grandmom. Our lives are full because of her, an act of love. I have always said if I could be half the mom that my mom is my kids would be blessed.
So today, celebrate the moms in your lives! Your mom, your aunts, your friends, if you are still blessed to have your grandmoms. Celebrate each one. And for those whose arms are empty and their hearts yearn, you are loved and celebrated for the woman you are and the mom you will become. For you moms of young kids, they won’t be little forever and technically you never really sleep like you did before kids, it just doesn’t come back. But what you gain is so much more. Those sweet arms around your neck, the homemade cards, the sticky hands and yes even the temper tantrums, it is so much as one day they will grow up and your roles and how you see them changes as much as you change their diaper now. For you single moms, I hold you closer as I know the world you see. I know the tears you shed of walking this journey alone, the responsibilty, the want to have someone pamper you for a change, the social media posts and the happy family pics while you get up to another day and pushing forward. You have the heart of a warrior and you are not alone. You may not get breakfast in bed or jewelry or whatever is the in style gift, but you have a gift of peace, of your childrens love and there is always hope. You are an act of love. For those whose moms are in Glory, my heart hurts for you. I know you would love nothing more than to feel her arms around you one more time, to hear her laugh, to ask her advice. I honestly don’t want to face the day my mom leaves. I know she will be so happy in the arms of her Savior, but ours will be left empty. Your moms aren’t physically here but they are always in your heart and they will always love you and you them. An act of love. And for those that are at odds with their moms, mend that fence. Life is short and can change in a brief moment.
We have let so much time get away from us and we focus on all the trappings of this life. This virus has showed us that. Today, let’s take back a moment, take a moment to see the ones who carried us through the stages of our lives. Be it in person, on the phone, skype…it doesn’t matter. Take that time to spend it with her. It isn’t about fancy gifts and meals, it isn’t about being picture perfect. It is about an act of love.