We have made it to Valentine’s weekend. The words are flowing like maple syrup. Sticky and sweet, slippery and sly. We shower our loved ones with words of love and affirmations. We plan romantic moments and we feel the sting of cupid’s arrows. For those of you who have a valentine, love on them not just for this holiday but everyday. These holidays are sweet and precious, but all the other days make up the whole picture. The card and the words that you give today, try sprinkling them through out the whole year. For those who are single or widowed, remember the memories of Valentine’s from before. Remember the butterflies and feel the blessings of having the priveleged of feeling love. It doesn’t make the day any easier sometimes but it truly is a blessing to have loved. To really love and not just give lip service and throw the L word out like we do the dirty bath water.
This made me think about words. About how we use them, what they mean, how they impact ourselves and those around us. We all communicate in so many different ways. Some are very verbose (yeah shocker that is me) some speak little but their words mean so much, some don’t say their feelings but show acts of service or acts of love to portray what they want to say. While we are saying all these words, what are we saying to ourselves? While we are sharing our hearts with others, what do we say to ourselves? If ever caring word showed on our skin, what other words would be there? We see ourselves so different from everyone else. We are harder and crueler to ourselves then some could be. Now there are a select few who don’t fall in this category. They love themselves more than anyone else could have a chance to love them. They see the flaws in others but have none in themselves, bless their hearts. I digress. If the words we thought or said to ourselves showed up to be visible in our skin….well people would either be shock, pity, awed or just downright scared. Or the words we sometimes say to others and not realize how those words stay etched on our hearts and minds.
Why is it ok that we sometimes do that to ourselves, talk in a derogatory manner to ourselves? Why is it ok for others to talk that way to us? We don’t want to talk to others that way yet we do to ourselves. Stop and think about it. What if every word shows up like a tattoo. Things like Why did I say that? Why am I stupid? I am fat/ugly/plain/old/gray/undesirable/not a good parent, I am not worthy. I fail. I am sorry for many things. Slut. Frigid. Bish (trying not to use curse words) no good, unfaithful, lost, scared, unlovable. Or we are told we are needy, ugly, fat, not worth anyone’s time, no one will ever want you. You get the picture. The negative reel plays in our mind like a highlight reel. While we may think these things about ourself we are telling someone else they are beautiful, that they are free to make their sexual choices, that they are smart and worthy. Or we say to the abuser, I am sorry and you are right and a part of our spirit dies in this relationship. All these words become a mixture in this crazy life and sometimes we hurt our own hearts before anyone has a chance to.
So while we are celebrating this month of love, this holiday that people feel the need to buy gifts, hearts and flowers and the list goes on. What if we gave ourselves the gift of positive words. Not only what we hand out to others but ourselves. I am guilty of not giving myself the positive words my heart needs to hear. How about you? Ready to talk to your heart like the lover it deserves?
That every word we say can be seen and heard. That the words and thoughts scar our mind, our skin and heart. OR they can be the words that patch is back together. That we know and recognize we have flaws, we aren’t perfect but we are perfectly made. That we will always have an imperfection to someone yet that imperfection makes you YOU. Your crooked smile, your chipmunk cheeks, your hands that bring comfort, your arms that reach out, your ample backside, your fluffy self, your skinny self, your spirit that fights on. So maybe say to ourselves that you are more than your body shape, you are a caring and kind person, you have a good heart, you are amazing!!! If those tattoos showed up on your skin, may they show up in sparkles and shine like the diamond you are.
So despite my flaws I know I need to make the tattoos of the negative words fade away and be replaced by words of self appreciation. Not to be prideful but to love me as much as I do others. How about you? Need some tattoos that need to be touched up? Need to learn that what others consider flaws are actually your best qualities? That if you aren’t appreciated for who you are then you need to appreciate yourself? For all the energy and words we give to others, maybe we give a portion back to ourselves. Not in a prideful way or narcistic way, but in a way that we appreciate ourselves and maybe show others how they should appreciate us. While we are sharing the love with everyone else, love yourself too. Just a thought. My skin needs to get rid of some of those negative tattoos and replace them with I am an amazing,loving women. A good mom, a good nurse, a good person. I am a flirt, desirable and my God doesn’t make any junk! How about you? Speak the words your heart needs to hear, love you. We have to sometimes love ourselves before we can love someone else. Dress today for you. Be you because just you matters! Love you because there is no other you like you, and the people that are meant to love you will be the ones who show up. So speak kindly, care deeply, love much. Make the words of your life and your day be words of positivity, words of affirmation and words of love. Be kind to yourself and I am going to do the same!