When you have hearing loss you realize how much you took two working ears for granted. Loud places, noises, people who talk in a low voice, cause havoc with all your senses. You miss out on conversations, easily disoriented, sometimes vertigo and just increase in anticipating where you sit, situations and plain old anxiety. Even with driving, not hearing makes one unable to hear conversations in the car clearly, loud music and sirens or sometimes not sensing a car in another lane (sounds crazy but it has happened), I know what I speak of. I have had hearing loss for 17 years. A constant sound in the deaf ear that sounds like a radio station out of range, a constant wooshing noise that gets louder when my surroundings get louder. Everyone close to me knows not to sit on my deaf side. For the type of hearing loss I have, a traditional hearing aid doesn’t work. To afford the hearing aid that does work–well I would need to sell an organ on the black market or eork a corner–joking (we all know that neither could pay for a happy meal let alone a hearing aid implant. It is about $15,000 for the implant and $9000 for a headband hearing aid). Even though only one working ear, both ears have sported some amazing earrings and they both like to be nibbled lol!
My hearing loss makes regular moments hilarious as I misinterpret what has been said or insert wrong words. It has been a frustration as I can miss tender words, secrets or just normal conversations. I have learned to adapt over the years but I miss 2 hearing ears. This made me think about how we listen in general.
We can listen with more than just our ears. In body language from others, what we read, in our touch, in our hearts. Sometimes when one sense is diminished, others become stronger. We live in such a fast paced world we seem to pay less attention. Sometimes I get disoriented due to my hearing loss or increase in anxiety and well that can happen for people with two working ears.
Sometimes we half-way listen to others, our attention is elsewhere or we don’t acknowledge what we hear. Ever had a time when you share a story or a post or a whole conversation and they are like “wow, so back to my story”– true story it happens more than you know. Or you speak of your plans and same person was like “oh I didn’t know you were sick but let’s get back to me”. Or you express some deep thoughts and no response or acknowledgement. Or we get busy on our phones and we miss out on conversations and precious moments because we are scrolling social media. Or we miss an important detail while doing our job because we are listening to co-workers and not to the person we are caring for. We are all guilty of not actively listening, whether if we have two good ears or just one. What a difference it could be if we slow down and listen. Listen to each other, the birds in the morning and the crickets at night, our childrens voices, our parents memories, our own inner goddess, our own hearts. We are in a fast paced, desensitized, visually stimulating world. The art of conversation is lessening, the time given for those conversations is becoming even less.
I may only have one working ear, but I can communicate for days lol. Superficial conversations, girlfriend chats, overly emotional feelings that I just keep expressing, deep pondering conversations and carefree and laughter filled conversations. But as much as I can talk, I over listen with my one good ear. Not just what you say but how you say it, your tone and inflection, responses and lack of responses, facial expressions and the list goes on. One good working ear makes the rest of my senses work harder. What about you? Do you listen with more than just your ears? Or is that enough? We all communicate and listen differently. Trapped in my own thoughts and expanding on said thoughts is having you listen with your eyes and mind during this blog, to try and paint a word picture to hear. Maybe if we each took a moment to listen a bit more, actively listening and recognize what others are saying. That we take a breath and slow down so we don’t miss a sound, a word, a feeling, the sound of laughter and love, the sound of nature, to hear what is important. As much as I love to talk and communicate, I still have one good ear to listen to those who need it. It has heard many stories, my kids laughter, sorrow and joy, moments of ecstasy and tender moments, excitement and fear, moments where a secret has been shared, and sometimes it has heard what hasn’t been said. I vow to listen harder and actively. Actively listening and let those in my life, be it patients, kids, family, friends, those that my heart beats for, I hear you and isn’t that what we all want is to be heard?
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