Wow, August is here already? Weren’t we just celebrating Memorial Day? Time marches on and seems to march on to quickly. It seems to me August is long and hot, summer coming to a close. It is like the hurdle to fall…kinda like March is before spring. We still have those feelings of wanting to squeeze summer joy out of life, but school starting back and usually vacations have concluded. It can feel a bit blah. It is also a rush for parents with kids. School supplies, school clothes shopping and changes in routines. The laid back evenings of summer become more scheduled once school starts back. And that mixed feeling of excitement for the kids for new classes and friends and the worry about those same things. And wishing for unhurried moments.
Even if you don’t have kids in school, school traffic effects us all! The scurrying to avoid the frequent bus stops, the frantic rush in the mornings and the exhausted rides home. The changes in routines of life. It happens for us adults as well as kids. I sound like I thrive on routine…guess we all do to a certain point.
Routines here at the Collins household are going to change yet again. My youngest starts her college journey soon and that will change all of our lives. With both of my kids I tried to keep things in a routine for my sanity and their’s as well. I remember buying school supplies a little at a time over the summer, and I will admit it was still exciting in a way. The smell of new crayons, watching them excited over a new lunch box, plans of first day outfits. I would try to start early bed times to get back in sync for school– I think they went to bed to humor me but never slept haha! When they got to high school, bed times were a suggestion and I was the only one still sticking to the scheduled bed time. I probably made my kids too structured. My daughter was not a morning person and my son was–sometimes mornings were not Leave it to Beaver episodes more like The Addam’s family! We would have clothes picked out the night before, homework done, lunches made, baths, snuggles or chats and bed and up and out by 7AM to get everyone to school and work. And that outfit from the night before was horrible the next morning. Those car rides to school were such precious times of talks and laughs and silliness, and yes bad moods and terse words and a few tears. It would take 1 hour every morning to take them to school and myself to work. Hours I would do again just to spend that time.
Now routines change again. My not so morning daughter will be making her own way to school and preparing her days in a different place, different home away from home. My son is more independent and hoping that grows more and more. I don’t have to rush out the door so early and can listen to my music louder than acceptable on my drive in to work. A different chapter for us all while wistful memories float around like the foggy August mornings.
So to you parents out there, parents to the scared pre-schooler, the anxious kindergartner, the moody middle schooler and the cocky high school freshman….another school year is on the horizon. Each chapter brings stress and joy, frustration and laughter, tears and memories. Your routine changes as much as your kids. We juggle our kids, homes, work and then school adds in programs, teacher conferences, homework that is much harder than when we were in school, PTAs and bake sales and sometimes as much peer pressure as our kids. Give yourself some slack and a few kuddos! You have kept your little person safe and sound, fed and clothed (no matter how bizarre that little one’s sense of fashion is). Make routines that work for you and decrease your frustrations, plan your days for your family and who cares how it measures up and take a moment to giggle at the antics of these little ones.
I tried it all— checklists of tasks to be completed by the kids, conjoling and fussing to get kids in and out of bed, rewards and loss of priveleges, and routines out the ying yang. My son thrived and needed routine and still does. Now on this side of things, those routines have made my kids more independent, able to function without me begging them to get up and get dressed, they both work and manage their days. Small victories in life. By the way, I still go with the set bed time!!
I say all this to reaffirm that the doldrums of routine and craziness of raising kids is worth it, the routine of life is worth it. You are doing an amazing job. No one gave out instructions for this journey, no cliff notes, no degrees. Instead, it is messy and fun, challenging and rewarding, anxiety and worry and moments of pure exhaustion. It is okay to feel all those things and embrace each one. There were mornings I wanted to pinch their head off and then as soon as they got out of the car, remorse would fill me. My kids always chose our car rides for the hard conversations– questions of sex, drugs, hurt feelings and moments of laughter and silliness– some from old mom as well– like stuck on the road to school next to a cow pasture and I would do different voices and conversations that the cows were having.
So I guess I am trying to say while summer is ending and we become slaves to schedules, embrace the routines, the small moments, the moments that make you want to pull your hair out. You are human just like your little ones. The carefree days of summer become less and structure takes over our lives, and that isn’t all bad. Routines can be boring, annoying and comforting. And sometimes it is liberating to shake up a routine or two just to keep people on their toes! It is all what we make of it and really we all just try our best. That is all we can do is try. There are things I wish I had done different and things that I my heffer, glamorous inner goddess says WOW you are amazing! So let’s each try to enjoy the longer days, foggy mornings, Saturdays, life and each other. We are doing the best we can and what we do is amazing. So the dog days of summer are here, changes on the horizon and new routines. So cheers to each of you and the milestones in all of our futures! Remember that there is always a bed time for kids and a bubble bath and glass of wine in your future!!