Hey you’all. How are things going for you? Last day of the month, a new month on the horizon. It is hard to believe one year ago we were heading into quarantine, a virus or plague as it seems descended on our lives. We went from family get togethers, dinners out, movies to take out and isolation and zoom calls! How our lives turned upside down. We stayed in our homes, some flocked to home stores and worked around the house, some worked the whole time and some just barely hung on. Now a year later, how are you? What are you feeling? Frustrated or faithful, fluffy or flimsy, far sighted or fearful to see? Do you feel solid or broken?
I had a thought, like many that I seem to have these days (the pandemic hasn’t slowed that down any) was that we all are broken in some way. Broken by a hurt from someone we let into our lives, broken by family or friends, our body has been broken down by hard work and life experiences or diseases. We feel we are broken when we compare ourselves to everyone. Our finances feel broken. Our speech and relationships feel broken. You get the jest. We are experiencing some kind of brokeness in this fallen world. We can continue to focus on what broke us–a marriage, a death, unfaithfulness, lack of being loved, feel we are shunned, just don’t fit in OR we can look at those broken pieces and heal and know that those experiences shaped who we are today. Now I know it isn’t that easy, believe me.
I was reading about Kintsugi, a Japanese art principal that takes broken pottery and repairs them with gold. A way to embrace flaws and perfections. It really made me think, not only about broken pottery but broken people. That pottery, maybe a beloved family heirloom or a favorite mug or bowl. It slips from your hands and a piece breaks off. There are open spaces and jagged pieces, sharp pieces, pieces that don’t fit back together as well as when first formed. Maybe see where I am going with this? That person you married or your relationship broke your heart, your parent passes away and your heart splinters more. Your body goes through weight gain and loss and well it isn’t that sweet sixteen frame you once had. Your job takes pieces of your time and your stamina becomes less, your over thinking thoughts splinter parts of your mind, disease effects your body in one way or another. We become like that beloved heirloom, we have jagged edges, some so sharp that the pain is intense when you touch them. We feel like the pieces of our life will never fit back in the form they once we’re. So like the Japanese take their brush dipped in gold, their hands lovingly patch that broken pottery back to its original shape. The gold joins those pieces back together, it shows despite flaws and imperfections, that bowl is still functional, it is still beautiful, it is perfect in it’s imperfections. So does God when He reaches down and puts the pieces together in our lives. How much gold would your heart and mind and body show at this stage in life? How will you shine despite the imperfections?
If that gold was visible in our bodies, I would daresay that just about every person on this earth would have some gold to shine through. The trials we face can be because of our own free will, the choices we have made in our lives, the effects that we let others have on us. The storms we face are for a reason and it is up to us to reach out to the one true potter of our lives that knows we are imperfect, that we are broken and only healed and whole because He takes our hands, he brushes us with His gold and accepts us for our imperfections. Wow, just wow. We can be accepted and be imperfect? We can have cracks and flaws,we can piece ourselves back together and heal with that stripe of gold healing the broken heart. The weave of gold in our brains that over think and over love and talk so negative to ourselves….gold is everywhere. Gold that covers our scars on our body, our imperfect bodies that we are blessed with no matter if they are cover girl ready or only for your partner to see. The broken pottery of our lives tells the story of us. We can choose to focus on those broken pieces OR we can piece them back together and rejoice in the victory of surviving something that broke us. We are still useful vessels, we are still people who has survived brokeness. Now do you just put yourself on a shelf to be viewed for that beautiful gold patchwork, or do you use that broken vessel to pour yourself into others? Sometimes when those broken pieces heal, some become so fragile and afraid , they are afraid of being broken again so they keep themselves tucked away out of reach and a gilded cage around those broken pieces as they can’t take a chance to break again. The other side of that precious pottery is sometimes people pour themselves into all they can and that patchwork of healing becomes weakened because they give so much away. So how do we balance it all and keep the pieces together?
Well I don’t have all the answers but I have some thoughts (I mean like duh did you think I would just end it here?) I think we have to touch those broken pieces, let them prick your skin, know those edges and recognize whatever hurt or trauma caused them. If you don’t look at that broken piece, how would you put it back together? Recognize that you were never perfect. Your outward shell may have looked perfect but there was a leak here and there or there were thoughts so deep in you it cast an ugly glow to the outside. Realize that a perfect outward shell doesn’t equate a perfect person. Some of the most wrinkled, gray haired or no haired, scarred people are some of the most beautiful. They are beautiful for how they put themselves back together from life, they lived and laughed and loved. So that double chin, or scar from a surgery or thick thighs (yes I have a couple of these) have now been dipped in gold, because you came apart for whatever physical reason and you were put back together. You may not be magazine perfect but perfect in someone else’s eyes. Look at those jagged pieces from the hurts in your life. If you suffered abuse, infidelity, lack of love, abandonment, made to feel inferior, the negative words we say to ourselves…look at those edges. Recognize that those edges have sharpened you. They have sharpened your mind to stop the negative talk. They have shown you that you were not perfect but you didn’t deserve the treatment you may have received. Maybe you were the one who was unfaithful, maybe you were the one that walked away and now regret how you broke yourself and someone else. Look at the edges and how do you want them to mend? Do you want to just hurry up and put yourself back together and barely let them dry or do you want to work on those edges and recognize and grow while that gold mends the sharp edges and connects what was disconnected? That would be another part of this process is do you want to just look perfect again OR do you want your healing imperfections show? That takes vulnerability. That is going to take some tough talk with yourself and with others, that is going to take healing. That may take more than a quick crazy glue moment before anyone sees the cracks. How about the soul splintering losses–the death of a parent, grandparent, spouse, child. How does your soul, your heart and your mind move forward? Is there enough gold to put that back together? Well, in my opinion, the one way to put that back together is the Creator that knitted us together in our mother’s wombs. He has more than the midas touch, more than just a paint brush dipped in gold. He has the healing touch with a power that we can’t wrap our minds around. His Son was the sacrificial lamb. The skies open, the holy curtain was ripped in two, His heart was here on earth so our souls could be with Him forever more. He knows how your heart has been ripped out, He knows that you feel you don’t have the strength to carry on without your loved one here. He knows that you aren’t perfect. It is beyond painful to lose someone you love, but think about never having that love to give. Your parent loved you no matter the sleepless nights, the tantrums, the teenage years and the years they felt you had nothing left for them. The love you have for your partner or spouse, the child that loves you because you are their parents and they trust you. As much love as we have for the people in our life, no matter how much that love has changed us for better or worse, He loves us beyond that. He laid out a plan for us in His word, weaved with seeds of gold and silver, strands of pearls and living water. Our human nature and imperfect selves think we can put ourselves together but the Potter is the one who molds us and shapes us. He paints us with henna when we celebrate, ash when we mourn and gold when we are healed from our brokeness. Just like the man who puts the pottery back together, we can choose to let the Son of man mend us as well.
It is a beautiful word picture to see that broken pottery with strands of gold piecing it back together. To see that even though the looks are not perfect, it is imperfect in it’s looks. It may look imperfect but it functions, it is able to hold what has been placed in it. It can be a vessel for water or food, it can hold the flowers arranged, it can be as vital as the perfect bowl beside it. It shows that through our imperfections we are still wonderfully made. Soak on that for a minute. Do you feel your broken imperfections make you less of a vessel? Do you feel you have more gold than pieces? Do you put yourself on that shelf so that you won’t deal with any more broken pieces and jagged edges? I will go first here. I have many imperfections, I have broken pieces but those pieces have survived and thrived. My body is aging, it is squishy and fluffy but it has carried two children, it has kept me on my feet to be gainfully employed. It isn’t cover girl material, maybe not even farmers almanac material but it is still a wonderful vessel. My mind works overtime, it sometimes is my harshest critic, it constantly thinks and anticipates, it has given me the knowledge and memory to be a good nurse. I am taking that brush with gold and working on the negative talk to myself, to accept me for me. Anyone else struggle with this? My heart and soul has been splintered and hurt, abused and taken advantage of at times. It hurt and hurt alot, but that gold weaves in and my heart continues to beat, my soul is well because He loves me and He saved me despite my imperfections and faults. My heart and mind were made to love. I can’t leave all of that on a shelf. I can’t be reckless and just free fall, but I can not want love. There are risks in life, there are always pitfalls and sometimes there are chips that appear on our pottery of life. Those chips give us experiences and character. The gold that pieces us back together may make us more beautiful to someone, those scars a part of who we are and one day that will be accepted completely by ourselves or others. These outward shells change and age, but the work we do on the inside may shine even brighter than the gold that pieces the outside together. The ultimate Potter formed each of us, He made us for a purpose and He loved us before we were born and He loves us with a never ending love. Wow, just wow. He loves us despite the cracks and stumbles and falls and failures. There is no one like Him. When I can’t love or accept me, He does. When I think I will never find the one who will love me for me, He knows. He not only paints us with gold but He paves the pathways for us when we are lost. I don’t know about you, but this is amazing everyday. So do you still feel broken or do you recognize the pieces of your life and heart? Do you see where you have been and hope on the horizon? Do you see that the gold is shining brightly like the diamond you are? I see you. One simple art from the Japanese putting pottery back together, highlighting imperfections back to perfection. I don’t know about you, but I am ready to shine. I am ready to be a vessel that stays full and isn’t empty, I am ready to paint those negative words with words of affirmation. So touch those jagged edges, recognize them, deal with them BUT then take that piece and heal it, don’t let it continue to reopen wounds. Cover it with gold, heal that piece and let the lesson of imperfection make you imperfectly whole, imperfectly YOU!
