Well here we are again. How do the years fly by so quickly? How are each of you doing this holiday season? This can be such a joyous time of year but also a time of so many mixed emotions and feelings; hurts and heartaches, joy and laughter, surrounded by many or being solitary. Unfortunately life isn’t always like a made for TV movie. Instead it is more like a quilt of memories. Started out crisp and clean, stitches tight and sewn with love and care. As time goes on it becomes a bit worn, dirty and cleaned so many times, loved and cherished, sometimes pushed to the side. Full of memories and warmth, stained with tears, crumbs abound, a source of heat and a cozy cave on a winter day. The quilt of life, real life.This time of year people bustle about, the frenzied need to shop and fill the real and virtual shopping carts to the top. Buzzing around like a honey bee in the rose garden. People flit about trying to be everywhere at once but sometimes not always present. You can see it in their faces, their body language. The pressure that we put on ourselves to make everything perfect. Maybe we need to look and re-evaluate perfection.Now I will admit that my outlook is a bit skewed this year and who knows it may be a good thing. I have been a guilty mom in the past of feeling the need to get my kids heart’s desire for Christmas. The need to make up for being a single parent (and yes I know presents don’t replace another parent but the guilt is real when you carry the load alone). Stressing myself out over what to get my kids, my family and those I hold dear, and yes I still stress at times. BUT this year was a harder year and I have heard this same sentiment from others. The feeling of not knowing what to buy, the feeling it just didn’t feel like Christmas and just a sense of anything but peace. Maybe this is a prodding us to get away from the pressure to buy something just to be buying something? Maybe it a shift from commercialism to sentimental moments.My little family will be missing one more from our family gatherings, from our sight and I know that has affected my outlook. I am in a family with all of you who have lost a parent. That is a loss that runs deep and is still a bit raw this year. I think of all our Christmas pasts from being a girl, to a young woman getting ready to leave home; to bringing his grandbabies over to all of us growing older and all the special memories we have created. Remembering grandmothers, aunts and uncles, cousins and friends who passed away and now we add my dad to that list of heavenly residents. I know there are many poems and quotes out there about “the empty chair” and well they are true in their sentiment. Which in my conundrum of thoughts makes me think even more.We all say every year we are going to quit stressing at the holidays, not going to spend as much and the list is as long as Santa’s list. And we all try, we do. Then we look around at the Jones’s, the media pushing every gadget under the stars, the pressure we put on ourselves. Then there is the emotional side of Christmas. Not everyone had a Walton’s kind of family or a secure childhood. Or they have been hurt physically or emotionally by someone they trusted. Or a falling out with a friend or family member and that person is alone. The scars run deep and one of the most wonderous holidays can cause such pain and feelings of inadequacy for some. We kind of forget all these things….until we start to think of that empty chair. It is a heart wrenching thing to know that chair, that physical presence isn’t there. But think about the many empty chairs out there, the hurting hearts, the feelings of every kind pulsing like the Trans Siberian Orchestra. Burying thoughts and feelings under piles of wrapping paper and bows.This year, more than ever before, the feeling of PRESENCE and not PRESENTS is felt. Presents are great and knowing that someone thought of you is humbling and yes I admit exciting to get a present.To see the joy on a child’s face as it lights up with the magic of Christmas, or to see someone you love be surprised all bring joy. But sometimes the things we need and crave aren’t materialistic (I am looking from an adult point of view and not from the kid’s view). We crave those chances to spend time with people, to slow down and breathe, to have the private jokes, the moments you laugh until you cry, the moments that you need to cry, the moments you need to feel. The moments spent walking down memory lane amd choosing to recognize the good memories and happy times; we know the sad times and bad memories have shaped a part of us but maybe we choose to walk a path more positive. We want those moments for conversations with friends and families; we want hugs to warm our hearts and kisses that touch our souls. We want those private moments that aren’t meant to be shared and most of all we just want one more moment. All of these things mean so much and can’t be wrapped in a box but wrapped in our minds and hearts. That empty chair reminds me of this even more. The pettiness of life seems so miniscule when you want to hear that loved one’s laugh once more.Long after the presents are opened and our bellies are stuffed with Christmas goodies, the presence of those we love mean the most. It is something we always know in the back of our minds but how amazing if we moved it to the forefront of life. We all try everyday, I try everyday and admit I fail alot of those days. I get swept up in the frenzy of life. Work and responsibilities, pressure to look better and defy gravity and aging, managing a home and job, kids and family, a social life and a private life and the list goes on. And each of you know about that list and how hard we can be on ourselves to live the best life we can and make an impact on those in our circle.So maybe not just this Christmas but for the next 365 days we become a daily PRESENCE in life. That the smallest, simplest moments be the presents we give to ourselves and others. That we sit and enjoy that cup of coffee, sip the glass of wine, talk about our feelings and thoughts, that we give grace like we have been given, that we laugh a bit more and love deeply. That we take a moment to tell and show the people in our life what they mean. To also set boundaries to protect ourselves from the people who are toxic to our lives. To be present everyday. That is my hope and prayer. My dad told me the day before he died that I only have this one life and to live it, to live it the best way I can.So as the table has one less around it this year and our hearts ache, they also feel joy. Joy for the presence he had in our lives and the sense of thankfulness for this life I have been given. Presents come and go and rust and age. But just like that quilt, the memories of life woven like that running stitch sewn deep in our hearts. Wrapped around our shoulders like the arms that have held us and hugged us. The weight of the quilt giving warmth like the love that blankets our lives. The quilt may not be sparkly and new at this stage, but it carries the depth and scars of life, the comfort and safety of love.So may we each pull out our quilt of life, recognize the lives that filled those empty chairs and learn from their life and carry their legacy forward. May we each be more of a PRESENCE amongst the presents and make the moments count. May you each feel the peace of this season and know His presence made ours possible. Love on each other every chance you get. And yes, meet under that mistletoe a time or two! Be PRESENT my dears as that presence means more than any gift you have. So from my little family to yours– we wish you the merriest of Christmas tidings and blessings for this next year.