Hey you’all. Hope you guys are enjoying your weekend and that life is good! So I have been thinking, which we all know that is a dangerous thing! So, my last entry was about a proposition I recieved on a social media message. Someone who was an acquaintance, not a true friend. No connection in real life. Well, I was indignant about said proposition. Then I did a self reflection and scrolled my social media page to see if there was anything that I did to invite this proposition.
Well, I post silly stuff, some borderline inappropriate humor, deep thoughts and feelings. BUT nothing that said I was trolling for a FWB. Then it made me think about posts in general. Then I thought blaming myself for that awkward, unwanted sexual innuendo is just like a woman blaming herself for physical advances for what she wears. Who we are can be represented in what we wear, how we act and now what we post. And then I thought why is it ok if men post innapropriate memes or of a picture showing their manly chests? Would that give us women a right to proposition? Well, guess that depends on the woman. I think reaching out and talking to new people or connecting with previous friends or people who have crossed your path is a good thing. And if you are interested in that person and maybe seeing or dating that person, then even better! But there is a way to progress to that and a thing called respect along the way. I think the thing that blew me away was the boldness or crassness that came across.
It is important for one to feel confident in who they are and seek what they want. BUT, there is always two sides and another person when seeking your desires. What do you guys think? I have talked with and reconnected with friends and friends of friends. I have seen families grow and change, heartbreaks and joys. All brought to me by social media. This can be a huge blessing in our lives. It can also be a Pandora’s box.
I had a friend post awhile back on the mainstream social media site if social media/this one particular site either helped or hindered our society? What says you? What are your thoughts and feelings about social media? It is a double edged sword in my opinion. Everything is at our fingertips–information, people, beauty and joy, lust and love. The possibilities are endless and the trouble it can cause can be just as endless. I am not judging nor am going to share all my secrets here. And I know there are many secrets out there, and some that are secret to protect the life you have and the love you have. Some are secrets of transgressions and hurts, mistakes and some best decisions ever. There is nothing wrong with that, we all have made choices and secrets abound. Some secrets can be so very special and some very hurtful as well.
I guess what I am trying to say with all of the access we have in our world, we are forgetting some of the basic manners in life. We have forgotten how to communicate without the aid of gifs and emojis and have forgotten about face to face encounters. We hide behind our keyboards as we spout hate and bully others or we seek companionship in the digital world. We think if it is a virtual interaction it doesn’t count. Well, all of these count. All of these have consequences. Words can cut as deep as a sword, harmless flirtations can harm a relationship, relationships can start from a harmless flirtation, joy and sorrow, respect and disrespect all become strange bedfellows.
Don’t get me wrong, it is amazing to pull up google and research a topic, a medicine for a patient, directions to a desired restaurant and the list is endless. But this other part of me misses the moments of a surprise phone call that you stretch the phone cord down the hallway so you can talk in private. A letter in the mail, or a card written just for me. Those moments of face to face interactions and get togethers, for times that could be a bit more simple. This wonderful world of technology has blessed me in more ways than you each could know and has brought people in my life that I am more than thankful for. It has also been a stumbling block for many. People rate themselves by the amount of followers, amount of likes, comments and shares. The attention we seek and sometimes we crave someone’s specific attention and they can skip your posts like a stone skipping across a still water. I will admit, I have been guilty of some of this. I told you I would always be real here. There have been times a family member can’t like or comment on a heartfelt sentiment you have written just for them, yet they can write a paragraph on another family members post. Or someone you are really close to can like everyone’s posts but never yours. It is like the blinders are on and your posts are in left field, out of focus, in the nose bleed section of posts. I mean come on, I post some amazing stuff here people. We all crave to be wanted and appreciated and when these instances happen, well me, myself and I have some serious conversations. Which is probably why this proposition made me mad. Realizing friends and friends of friends read your stuff, they watch from afar like a stalker but choose not to interact unless it is in secret. We all want to be wanted and no it doesn’t have to be broadcast all over social media what you mean to someone. Sometimes that feels awkward, when you read about the ravings about someone’s partner, spouse, lover. It feels like someone is trying to convince one or many that their love is perfect. I don’t want that. Don’t be ashamed of me, don’t expect me to only be a woman, friend, relative in the shadows. Don’t be ashamed of our interactions with each other. It has never broken someone’s finger to press the 👍or ❤ on a post, just saying. It may break someone’s heart when you choose not to acknowledge or ignore someone, it can break someone’s heart for a secret message though. It may break yours and so many more.
I guess my rant could be interpreted as prudish, judgemental, self-righteous and whatever adjective you want to use. It was just trying to point out the lack of respect we have and that lines can be crossed. It always takes two to tango. My past is far from perfect and yes I made choices in my past I am not proud of at all! But it is my past and it has brought me to where I am today. I wasn’t being judgemental, I was pissed that I only could mean just that to someone. That the only thing I had to offer was sex. Sex is amazing, sex is fun (yes I was going down a George Michael song), but sex for the sake of having sex is just an action not an emotion.
When I was a teenager, many moons ago, I so wanted a boyfriend. I wanted to date and have someone hold my hand and be all mushy, send a carnation on valentine’sday, be asked to the dance.. (My parents had a rule that I wasn’t allowed to date until I was 16, and well I graduated high school at 17 so not alot of dating occurred in high school). Well, I still like all that mushy stuff believe me. But sometimes when you want to be loved and wanted, you end up being with people who knew that and it can backfire. You can confuse physicality for caring. You can be confused in general. ‘If you like me you would do this for me,’ if you like me then you will be my plaything in the shadows and ignore you in the daylight. That proposition made me think of a younger me. That I was only my genitals instead of the damn good woman I am! Now disclaimer, I have alot of days I don’t like the way I look physically, that I don’t think I am enough and feel unworthy, that I am not pretty. And I know that is evil trying to make me doubt. I am a humble woman and know that there are women out there better than me BUT I realize they aren’t me. I have been an anomaly as I chose not to date for almost 14 years after my divorce and focus on my kids. I am alot of things, not really done alot of normal things in life (I have never flown, never been on a cruise, alot of nevers in my life–and some things I have regret doing) but I do know I want more out of life and love. I want more than a virtual relationship, I want more than just sex. I like the romance, the getting to know someone for ALL that they are, the verbal and non-verbal communication, raw passionate sex/making love, toe curling connection with someone I care about and love, not just lust after. I have responded to the emotion of lust before and was left feeling empty, used and self-loathing. None of those things are wanted in life. So it hit a nerve for me, I can admit it. How about you? Would that hit a nerve or would you hit it and quit it? We all are wired different and I have carried on about my circuit board of thoughts!
So, I am sorry to carry on, I am sorry if my rant was too much or if it stepped on anyone’s toes. That is never my intent. When I write, it comes from what has happened, what is on my heart or what I may think or feel. And I hope it makes you stop and think, that what I write makes you feel, makes you laugh and makes you feel that it is ok to have a conundrum of thoughts. That somehow we can connect through the ups and downs of this journey. So my friends, post away on social media, be thoughtful with your words and actions, respect those you encounter. Feel free to express your opinions but be thoughtful in your responses. But most of all, take those breaks from the virtual world and step into the real world. A world that you can use all of your senses, where you are worth more than likes and followers. Where you are just the amazing person you are and that you love on the people in your circle. Much love to each of you👍❤😮😢😡😜
